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One day a guy goes to his doctor and says, "Doc I have these real bad headaches. What should I do?" The doctor replies, "Well, to get rid of my headaches I just have sex with my wife." They both laugh. A week later the patient returns. The doctor asks, "How are you feeling?" The patient smiles and replies" You were right! I feel so much better. And, by the way, Doc, you have a lovely home." Send this joke to a friend!
Question: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? Answer: Depends on how thin you slice them. Send this joke to a friend!
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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal when they were eating a clown? "Does this taste funny to you?" Send this joke to a friend!
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Ya momma so fat one day she had ona pair of tight yellow britches she bent over to pick up a quarter. 3 guys got in. thought it was a yellow cab. Send this joke to a friend!
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Question: When do you know when a picnick turns Gay? Answer: When the hot dogs tast like shit! Send this joke to a friend!
Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 18 years to live. Send this joke to a friend!
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A blonde is trapped on an island. She learns how to swim and decides to go swim to shore. When she was only 1/4 away from shore, she swam back, complaining that she was too tired. Send this joke to a friend!
Yo Mama so fat she fell down the grand canion and got stuck !
why were guys put on this earth?
Because vibrators can't buy you a drink
your mamma so dum she got loked in a super maket and starved 2 death
your mom's teeth are so yellow, that when she closed her mouth her stomach lit up
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish
Over the weekend, Senator Barack Obama visited New Hampshire and thousands of people showed up to hear him speak. The New Hampshire crowds were excited, because apparently, this is the first time they've ever seen an African-American.
An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims," may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony." The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: " no tanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!"
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the Den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag Him?"
The host said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife."
"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.
"My ex-wife" replied the hunter.
There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass, well endowed, gorgeous, amazing woman. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.
The first priest approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I would like three pickets to titsburg." Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled.
The second priest approached. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh," he began, "and I would like the change in nipples and dimes." So, of course, he also fled.
Then came the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing like that when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you."
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I"ve come to activate your phone lines."
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