Funny - Chat Messages

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Cheese is my friend!

Dig a lil hole Planet a lil seed Grow a lil tree Smoke a lil weed

You were so cute as a baby... what happened?!?

Be selfish just once... If your upset, take someone elses life instead of your own!

Fat people are harder to kidnap

:) My darling my love, my beautiful wife. Marrying you screwed up my life :S

If u want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen

In jail u get food, in jail u get tea, in jail u get anything butt... the KEY!

It Worries Me How Dumb You Are

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More Funny Chat Messages:

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man

My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex

Passwords are like underwear: change them often

What do they call Bush his zipper? The "U.S. Open

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Never wish on 1 star more than 1nce cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think notů

Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns

Stupid statistics cost american companies 30 zillion dollars each year

Haggis is a self cleaning meal. Leave it for a while and it will get up and walk away

One-Liner Top 5:

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!