Funny Jokes | 10 Funny Various Jokes

One day two kids were wandering around near a stream. One of the boys wandered off near a bush and the other wandered farther down stream. The boy who was wandering down stream started to get lonely, so he went to find his other friend. When he got to the bush were his friend was he saw a naked woman and ran away. The boy that was here for a long time got curios and ran after him and asked, "Why did you run away." The other boy said, "My mom said that if I were to ever see a naked woman I would turn to stone. Then I felt something get very hard so I ran."
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An English man and an Irish man are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims, "May the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony." The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies, "No thanks, I'll just wait till the police get here!"
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Boss (to the new employee): "We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?" New employee: "Yes, sir." Boss: "We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat."
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A Funny Story. There are many wise and foolish men. Like this guy named Billy. Someone had an appointment with him yet when the person arrived, Billy was no where to be found. Infuriated, the person picked up a piece of chalk and wrote on Billy's door "STUPID OAF" and went home. Later Billy returned home and saw what was written on his door. He immediately rushed to the persons house and said "I'm sorry I forgot I had an appointment today. I remembered the second I got home and saw your name on my door."
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What do you call 100 nuns in a shop? virgin megastore
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A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor: "Can I help you?" "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines!"
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What do a hockey player and a magician have in common? Hat tricks.
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In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet. 'The copier is out of order! Yes, we have called the service man. Yes, he will be in today. No, we cannot fix it. No, we do not know how long it will take. No, we do not know what caused it. No, we do not know who broke it. Yes, we are keeping it. No, we do not know what you are going to do now. Thank You!'
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What do you call a person who can sit on an ice cream and tell the flavor? A smartass!
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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I"ll tell you later.
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One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox is the unspeakable in full pursuit of uneatable.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?