Little Johnny was visiting his grandparents.
He was out on the porch when his grandpa pulled out a cigar.
"Can I have one?"
says little Johnny.
"Son, can your cock touch your ass?"
Confused, little Johnny replies, "No."
"Then you're not old enough"
Then grandpa pulls out some beer.
"May I have a drink?"
"Can your cock touch your ass?"
Johnny sadly goes into the house.
He returns later with milk and cookies.
Grandpa sees the cookies and asks for one.
Johnny turns to grandpa and asks: "Grandpa, can your cock touch your ass?"
Grandpa with a smug look on his face replies: "Why yes.
Yes it can."
Without missing a beat Johnny says: "Then go screw yourself, Grandma said these are mine!"
Yo mama is so fat.
That when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease.
The doctor gave her 18 years to live!
What did Osama name his last daughter?
Camela - after her mother!
How can you tell the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
Here was this man in a bar he ordered a shot he finished the shot and peeked into his pocket then orders another shot and agian peeks into his poket he asks for another drink the bar-tender finally says "ill bring you drinks all night if you tell me why you keep llooking into your pocket!"
the man said that "
he has a picture of his wife in his pocket and as soon as she starts to look good i can go home "
A man went for an audition at a local club.
"You' better not be a hypnotist, they're not welcome here."
"No I'm not, I'm a singer, why, what's wrong with a hypnotist?"
"Well we had one a couple days ago with 10 people on stage in a trance when he tripped over the microphone wire and shouted 'Shit'.
We've been cleaning up ever since."
To a blonde, what is long and hard?
Knock, Knock Who's there?
Highway 95 pounds!
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today?s world you need a domain name.
It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks.
Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn?t give their domain names enough consideration: 1.
A site called ?Who Represents?
where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity.
Their domain name?
wait for it?
is www.whorepresents.com 2.
Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com 3.
Looking for a pen?
Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net 4.
Need a therapist?
Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com 5.
Then of course, there?s the Italian Power Generator company?
And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com 7.
If you?re looking for computer software, there?s always www.ipanywhere.com 8.
Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church.
Their website is www.cummingfirst.com 9.
Then, of course, there?s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com 10.
Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe?
Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com