Funny Jokes | 10 Funny Jokes About Blondes

What did Santa say to the three blondes on the corner? "Ho. Ho. Ho."


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What do you call a lesbian Eskimo? A klondyke!


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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"


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Why do blonde cowgirls walk bow-legged? Because their boyfriends eat with their hats on.


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How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door!


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A blonde woman and a red-headed woman are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. But first, the terrorists ask the red-headed woman if she has any last words. The red-head points and says, "Twister!" The terrorists ran in all different directions and the red-headed woman gets away. When they realize what has happened, the come back and to where the blonde woman is still standing, and they ask her if she has any last words. She points and says, "Fire!"


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Why did the blonde go to church? Cause she heard there was a guy hung like this------(jesus on the cross from hand to hand)


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Two blondes meet in Heaven. "How did you die?" the first one asks. "Oh! I died in a freezer," the second blonde replied. "So how did you die?" the second blonde asks. "Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman," replied the first blonde. The second blonde then says, "If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!"


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Question: Why did the blonde throw her clock out the window? Answer: So she could see time fly!


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Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings!


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One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
I've decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust.