Bar Jokes: A Man Walks Into A Bar With A Monkey He Had Just Bought At The Pet Store

A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball. The bartender says "Your monkey just ate the cue-ball! GET OUT NOW!" so the man picks up the monkey nad leaves. Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, pulls it out then eats it. The bartender says " Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then eat it?" The man says "Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size"


More Bar Jokes:

A Bear Walks Into A Bar And Says I Want A Bourbon And A Coke
Two Pretzels Walk Into A Bar
3 Bums Were Outside A Bar
A Man Comes Home Late One Night Drunk
A Guy Walks Into A Bar And Sees A Sign That Reads
One Day A Man Walks Into A Bar And To His Amazement He Finds A Tiny Person Playing A Tiny Piano
A Drunken Old Man Walked Into A Bar
One Day A Pirate And A Bartender Were Talking To Each Other In A Bar
Two Texans Were Seated At The End Of A Bar When A Gorgeous Young Lady Sits Down
This Guy Walks Into A Bar In Alabama And Orders A White Wine
A Cowboy Rides His Horse Up To A Saloon
Two Men Are Sitting Around Drinking
A Man Walks Into The Front Door Of A Bar
Here Was This Man In A Bar
A Guy With A Very Small Head Was Sitting At A Bar Drinking When The Bartender Asked Him Why His Head Was So Small
One Night A Man With No Voice And His Friend Went To A Bar
Roy Walks Into The Front Door Of A Bar
3 Guys Were In A Bar And Flies Flew Into Their Drinks
A Man Walks Into A Bar And Orders One Shot
I Walked Into A Bar The Other Day And Ordered A Double
There Was This Guy At A Bar Just Looking At His Drink
What Did The Bartender Say To His Customers
Three Vampires Walk Into A Bar And Order Drinks
Charles Dickens Walks Into A Bar And Orders A Martini
Bar Troubleshooting Chart
A Guy Goes Into A Bar Orders Twelve Shots And Starts Drinking
An Irish Man Is Sitting In A Pub One Night When 3 Englishmen Walked In
If You Can Make That Horse Over There Laugh You Can Have Free Drinks
Bob Goes Into A Cafe And Takes A Seat Near The Window
Why Were Guys Put On This Earth?
There Were Three Men At A Bar
A Man Sat Down At A Bar Looked Into His Shirt Pocket And Ordered A Double Scotch
A Man Walks Into A Bar With A Brown Paper Bag
There Are These 3 Vampires
Three Vampires Walk Into A Bar And Sit Down At A Table
A Man Walks Into A Bar And Orders A Beer
One Night A Drunk Comes Stumbling Into A Bar And Says To The Bartender Drinks For All On Me
A Seaman Meets A Pirate In A Bar And Talk Turns To Their Adventures On The Sea
A Biker Walks Into A Yuppie Bar
Secretaries Powell And Rumsfeld Are Sitting In A Bar
Our Lager
An Englishman An Irishman And A Scotsman Walk Into A Bar And Each Orders A Pint Of Beer
Buy Me A Beer If You Want The Story Told
Two Cowboys Were Sitting In A Bar When One Asked His Friend If He Had Heard Of The New Sex Position Called Rodeo
A Farmer Was In A Bar Drinking And Looking All Depressed
A Frenchman Walks Into A Bar Smiles At The Landlord
A Man Went For An Audition At A Local Club
One Day A Pirate And A Bartender Were Talking To Each Other In A Bar
Every Friday Night Three Men Go To A Bar And Complain About Their Wives
One Day An Englishman A Scotsman And An Irishman Walked Into A Pub Together

One-Liner Top 5:

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!