Funny Jokes | 10 Funny Jokes About Christmas

Merry Christmas in Legal Terms Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).
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Jacko Christmas What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Santa? Nothing, they both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks!
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Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks!
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What does a poor boy get for Christmas? Your bike!
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As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
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Do you know why Santa is always so happy? Because he knows where all of the bad girls are!
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Christmas morning a boy rides down the road on his brand new bike when a cop on a horse rides up beside him and says, "Did Santa bring you that bike?" "Yea!" the boy replies. "Well maybe next year you can ask Santa to give you a helmet for that bike?" and proceeds to write that boy up a 20 dollar ticket. As the boy rides away on his bike he turns around and says to the police man, "Did Santa bring you that horse?" Humoring the boy he says, "Sure!" "Well maybe next year you can ask Santa to put the dick on the bottom of the horse a instead of on top!"
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One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.