Dirty Jokes * 21 Dirty Jokes
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Western Oklahoma. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?" The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best Okie manner says, "Nah, go ahead." Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too!"
Question: How many Branch Davidians can you fit in a car? Answer: It depends on how big your ashtray is!
This Old man decided to go to a whore house one night. When he arrived he went to the owner and he said, "Listen, I want a girl with Gonorrhea!" The owner nodded and sent him upstairs to a room. Then she called one of her favorites for him. The girl went into the room and started to undress for him. He quickly asked, "Do you have Gonorrhea?" "Gonorrhea? I certainly do not!" she said. The Old man sent her back and requested a girl with Gonorrhea. The owner called over one girl and told her to say she had to just to make him happy. So the girl went up to the room and the old man asked, "Do you have Gonorrhea?" She smiled and said, "Of course I do." They got into bed and begun to fuck away. It lasted 10 minutes then she said, "Listen Old man, I have a confession to make, I don't have Gonorrhea." The Old man smiled and replied, "Now you do!"
A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and says: "I want a turkey on my right hip." So the guy says, "Ok." Does it and then she leaves. A couple of weeks later she comes back and says: "I want Santa Clause on my left hip." And the man says, "Ok." Does it, while she was getting her money out, he says, "Can I ask you why you are doing this?" And she says, "So my husband will have something to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
Johnny and Rebecca were walking down the road and when all of a sudden he sees a 20 dollar bill and tells Rebecca, "Who's is it, mine or yours?" So she says, "Mine." Then they make a left and see a 50 dollar bill and he says to her, "Who's it, mine or yours?" Now they are almost at the store and there is a dick in her mouth, he says, "Who's is it?" Then Rebecca says, "YOURS, YOURS, OH YOURS!"
It was Christmas evening, and little Timmy with his sisters couldn't wait the next morning, when presents are opened. Finally mom got 'em into bed and started to arrange packets. Next morning everyone rushed downstairs and started to open presents. Little Timmy was confused, he didn't see any packets with his name on it, but his sisters got many. Finally he asked from his mother, "Why I don't have any presents?" "Because you have cancer" mom replied.
Ok now you know how newlyweds like to screw all the time, well the the husband bought colored condoms to make it interesting and the wife always like the yellow ones. Well when they were done he would always throw it out the window. Well one day they were out of yellow ones so the husband went outside to get the one he threw out and when he got there a little kid was holding it. So he thought of a way to get it back. He went up to the kid and said, "Hey kid I'll give you 20 dollars for that Twinkie!" The kid said, "Ok" Well the guy went home happy and the kid went back to his mom and said, "Mom this guy gave me 20 bucks for a Twinkie I already sucked the filling out of!"
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
A blonde is having sex with a man, later on she gave him a hand job and then some white stuff came out and the blonde said "ewww! you got dandruff".
Question: How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Answer: Eminem has to chew before swallowing!
A trucker was driving down the road when he saw two men standing there trying to hitch a ride. They looked okay and the trucker was an reasonable guy, so he picked them up. Later on down the road they started talking and the trucker could tell that these two men were gay. The gay guy on the the right lets loose with a large, silent fart. A few minutes later, the other gay guy farted to, which was also silent. About four minutes later, the trucker farted himself, loudly. The gay men started laughing and calling the trucker a virgin.
More Dirty Jokes:Why Are Black People So Good At Basketball?
When Do You Know When A Picnick Turns Gay
Ok Now You Know How Newlyweds Like To Screw All The Time
How Does A Blonde Guy Take A Shower
Female Patient In Coma For Many Months
What Do You Call A Bunch Of Women Hanging Around Prostitutes?
In Washington DC They Ran Out Tickle Me Elmo Dolls
How Many Branch Davidians Can You Fit In A Car
What Do You Call An Abortion In Czechoslovakia
A Blonde Is Having Sex With A Man Later On She Gave Him A Hand Job
What Does Bill Clinton Say To Hillary Clinton After Having Sex
What Did The Leper Say To The Blonde Hooker?
A Trucker Was Driving Down The Road When He Saw Two Men
Two tampons were crossing the street
A Woman Walks In To A Tattoo Parlor And Says I Want A Turkey On My Right Hip
On A Farm Out In The Country Lived A Man And A Woman And Their Three Sons
Little Timmy's Christmas
A Guy Meets A Girl Out At A Nightclub And She Invites Him Back To Her Place For The Night
A Guy Was Riding Down The Road When He Saw A Pretty Young Lady
A Young Cowboy Walks Into A Seedy Cafe In Western Oklahoma
How Do You Tell If Your Boyfriend Has
A Grown Man Decided One Day To Go To A Nude Beach For A Full Body Tan
A Little Boys Dad Had A Headache And Sent The Little Boy To Get Some Panadol
A Guy Walks In And Asks The Bartender Isn't That Bush And Powell Sitting Over There
Johnny And Rebecca Were Walking Down The Road And When All Of A Sudden He Sees A 20 dollar Bill
How Does Osama Bin Laden Practice Safe Sex
This Old Man Decided To Go To A Whore House One Night
What Do U Call A Black Priest?
How Do You Find Ronald McDonald In A Nudist Colony?
One Day A Man Walks Into A Tattoo Parlor And Tells The Tattoo Artist That He Wanted A 100 Dollar Bill Tattooed On His Dick
What Do You Call A Million Mexicans Rolling Down A Hill
How Do You Know If Dr Dre Has A High Sperm Count
Why Is 88 Better Than 69
I Rear-ended A Car This Morning
What Is 68?
What Did Osama Name His Last Daughter
What Do Micheal Jackson And An Xbox have in common?
A Man Enters A Barber Shop For A Shave
If You Went To A Party And Woke Up With A Condom In Your Ass
Did You Hear The One About The Jewish Porn Film?
A Lady Shows Up At Her Doctor's Appointment
A Kid Came Home From School And Asked His Dad
Funny Jokes:A Police Officer Attempts To Stop A Car For Speeding And The Guy Gradually Increases His Speed Until He S Topping 100 Mph
A Dumb Blonde Went To A Store And Asked The Clerk If They Had Any Alligator Shoes He Said No So She Left
Two Cowboys Were Sitting In A Bar When One Asked His Friend If He Had Heard Of The New Sex Position Called Rodeo
Everyone Knows That If You Are Going To Operate A Business In Todays World You Need A Domain Name
A Man Goes To The Doctor And Shows Him His Penis
What Is More Fun That Stapling Babies To A Wall
There S This Old Priest Who Got Sick Of All The People In His Parish Who Kept Confessing To Adultery
A Judge Working A Double-homicide Case Tells The Defendant You Re Charged With Beating Your Wife To Death With A Hammer
Whats Black And White And Red All Over
You Think Life Is Bad
What Has Eighty Feet And Three Teeth
Why Does A Blonde Dog Have Lumps On His Head
Yo Mama House So Dirty Roaches Ride
Why Do Iraqis Only Have 2 Pallbearers At Their Funerals
God Was Sitting In Heaven One Day When A Scientist Said To Him God We Don't Need You Anymore
Rumors Have Been Circulating Regarding What The Troopers Were Shouting
The Perfect Husband
Your Mama Is So Stupid She Went To Jamaca
To A Blonde What Is Long And Hard
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road
A Guy Goes Into A Bar Orders Twelve Shots And Starts Drinking
Top Funny Jokes:
One-Liner Top 5:
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.
Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid!
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!