Funny Jokes | 10 Funny Jokes About Doctors

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Smith", he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination!"
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks, "Were you ever a Blonde?" "Yes, I was" she replies, "why do you ask?" The doctor answers, "Because your finger is broken!"
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
I have an earache. 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. 2003 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
Patient: "Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow." Doctor: "How do you feel?" Patient: "A little down in the mouth!"
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
FARTING ALL THE TIME Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?" Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time," The Doctor nods, "Hmm." Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?" "Hmm," says the Doctor, He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription. The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?" "No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
"Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm!" "Are you doing anything for it?" "Snorting pepper!"
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. "Doctor", she says, "my husband just doesnít satisfy me sexually anymore." "Hmm", replies the doctor, "have you considered taking a lover?" "I did that", she says, "and Iím still not getting enough sex to satisfy me." "How about taking another lover?" "I keep trying that. I have seven lovers plus my husband, but I still canít seem to get enough." "My goodness", says the doctor, "youíre quite an anomaly." "Oh, thank God", says the woman, "will you please tell them Iím an anomaly? They all keep calling me a slut."
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them. In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine month waiting list for abortions.
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
Visit to the doctors A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied.
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
A jelly baby goes to the doctor and says: "Doctor! doctor! I think I've got aids." The doctor says, "You cant have aids you're too young!" The jelly baby says, "But I've been sleeping with all sorts!"
Rate Good vote Rate Bad




One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
My cat constantly looks at me like I asked her to give me a ride to the airport.
They said too much of everything is bad... But too much of goodness ain't bad?