Funny Jokes | 10 Funny Jokes About Doctors

One day a guy goes to his doctor and says: "Doc I have these real bad headaches. What should I do?" The doctor replies: "Well, to get rid of my headaches I just have sex with my wife." They both laugh. A week later the patient returns. The doctor asks: "How are you feeling?" The patient smiles and replies: "You were right! I feel so much better. And, by the way, Doc, you have a lovely home!"

Rate Good vote Rate Bad

I have an earache. 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. 2003 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

Rate Good vote Rate Bad

The British doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks." Then the German doctor bragged, "That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks." The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and almost immediately afterwards half the country was looking for work."

Rate Good vote Rate Bad

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor throws some herbs on a fire, shakes his rattle, and says, "I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. Just say ‘one, two, three’ and you’ll get the largest erection you’ve ever had. After your wife’s been satisfied, simply say ‘one, two, three, four’ and it will disappear for 12 months." Later that night as the man is lying in bed watching television, he says to his wife, "Watch this! One, two, three!" His schlong becomes larger and stiffer than ever before. His wife is amazed. She smiles and says, "That’s great! But what did you say ‘one, two, three’ for?"

Rate Good vote Rate Bad

A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. "Doctor," she says, "my husband just doesn’t satisfy me sexually anymore." "Hmm," replies the doctor, "have you considered taking a lover?" "I did that," she says, "and I’m still not getting enough sex to satisfy me." "How about taking another lover?" "I keep trying that. I have seven lovers plus my husband, but I still can’t seem to get enough." "My goodness," says the doctor, "you’re quite an anomaly." "Oh, thank God," says the woman, "will you please tell them I’m an anomaly? They all keep calling me a slut."

Rate Good vote Rate Bad

Good News Doctor Nick walks into his office to talk to a patient. He looks at the patient and says: "I have good news and bad news. Which would you like?" "The good news," the patient says. "Well, the good news is we're gonna name a disease after you."

Rate Good vote Rate Bad

A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance. But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why ! The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words: Psycho- the- rapist.

Rate Good vote Rate Bad

Patient: "Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?" Doctor: "Not really. It will just seem longer."

Rate Good vote Rate Bad

Patient: "Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow" Doctor: "How do you feel?" Patient: "A little down in the mouth!"

Rate Good vote Rate Bad

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American doctor were chatting. The British doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks." Then the German doctor bragged, "That"s nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks." The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and almost immediately afterwards half the country was looking for work."

Rate Good vote Rate Bad