Funny Quotes: Famous Sayings

Famous Sayings As casar said, "let me mix that salad!" As Jack the Ripper's mother said to her son, "How come you never go out with the same girl twice?" As Moses said to God, "Let me see if I have it right-- the Arabs get the oil and we get the right to cut the tips off our WHAT?!" As Vincent Van Gogh said after he cut off his ear, "Don't Shout!" As George Washington said when he was crossing the Delaware, "I can't understand it. I paid for a seat!" As Jesse James said to his brother Frank, " We can't rob that bank. That's where we keep OUR money!"


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Miscellaneous Terms
A Good Scapegoat Is Hard To Find
Nothing Is Ever Accomplished By A Reasonable Man
Given A Bad Start Trouble Will Increase At An Exponential Rate
The Ability To Tell A Person To Go To Hell In Such A Way
The More Time You Spend In Reporting On What You Are Doing The Less Time You Have To Do It In
Whereas On An Occasion Immediately Preceding The Nativity Festival
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Beware The Fury Of A Patient Man
Any Minimum Criteria Set Will Be The Maximum Value Used
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People Who Complain About The Way The Ball Bounces Usually Dropped It
When There Are Too Many Policemen
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Theese Are Real Answers At A Driving School
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The Bigger They Are The Harder They Hit
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Give A Man A Fish And He Will Eat For A Day
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A Good Scapegoat Is Hard To Find
The First Time Is For Love The Next Time Is 200
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If At First You Do Succeed Try
Ambition Is A Poor Excuse For Not Having Sense Enough To Be Lazy
The Bigger They Are The Harder They Hit

One-Liner Top 5:

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!