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Funny Jokes About Lawyers

Question: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
Answer: Depends on how thin you slice them.

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Question: What do you call 100,000 lawyers drowning in the Pacific ocean?
Answer: A good start!

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Question: What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?

Answer: A perfect setup for skeet shooting!

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Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?

A: Not enough sand.

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Q: Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?

A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

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Question: What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Answer: Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being!

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Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

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There was a lawyer who just had a surgery. When he woke up he found himself in a dark room, the linds shut and the door closed. Then the nurse walked in and saw the lawyer awake. The lawyer then asks the nurse why are all the linds closed and every thing so dark?
" Theres a fire outside and we didnt want you to wake up and thought you died".

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A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, "All lawyers are assholes!" He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.
Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "Take that back."
The biker says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"
"No, Iím an asshole."

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How do you get a lawyer down from a tree?
Cut the rope.

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