Lawyer Jokes
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Lawyer Jokes

This page contains 10 Lawyer Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Lawyer Jokes first.

So, everyone knows that Pope John Paul the 2nd died recently.
But, how many people know what happened after?
Pope John Paul II arrived in Heaven, and was greeted by St.
Peter .
After a brief ceremony, he was lead through a small gate of Pearls into the Afterlife.
As they were talking, a marching band of thousands suddenly approached the Main Gate.
As the Band played a very upbeat version of 'The Saints Go Marching In'
cheering and applauding.
As Pope John Paul II looked on, a section of the Walls of Heaven miles long opened up, and in walked a very nondescript man in a pale grey suit.
Incensed, Pope John Paul II began to yell at St.
Peter.
'What', he screamed.
'
I live my entire life in devotion to God, and all I get is you, but this, this nothing of a man is met with all of this pomp!'
St.
Peter looked at him and said, '
Look, John, we get a Pope up here every couple of Decades, but this is the first time we've ever gotten a Lawyer.


Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.
St.
Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St.
Peter addressed the teacher and asked, 'What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg?
They made a movie about it.'
The teacher answered quickly, 'That would be the Titanic.'
St.
Peter let him through the gate.
St.
Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: 'How many people died on the ship?'
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, 'about 1,500.'
'That's right!
You may enter.'
St.
Peter then turned to the lawyer.
'Name them.'


 



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