Funny Jokes | Funny Quotes | Nothing Is Ever Accomplished By A Reasonable Man

Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man. Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself. Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all. Nothing puzzles me more than time and space; and yet nothing troubles me less. Of all forces acting on man, change is the most beneficial and the most cruel. Of two possible events, only the undesired one will occur. Office Of Precision Guesswork. Old age and treachery shall overcome youth and skill.

One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.