Relationship Jokes
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Relationship Jokes

This page contains 10 Relationship Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Relationship Jokes first.

Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to making women happy?
No, neither did I.Q.


A man and his girlfriend were enjoying a ride late one stormy night in the country.
As they were driving down a dirt road, the truck got stuck in the mud.
The guy hops out to look and comes back and says to his girlfriend, 'I need you to take off your clothes so I can put them under the tires from traction.'
She does and after awhile of trying he says, 'Okay, we're stuck.
Go down to that farm and see if someone has a phone.'
She says, 'But I'm naked!'
He looks at her and says, 'Well, tie my boots around your hips to cover up with and just use your hands to cover your chest with.'
She makes it down the the farm and bangs on the door.
The farmer walks out and she yells, 'Help, my boyfriend is stuck and can't get out!'
He looks at the boots and says, 'Honey, he's too far in to come out!'


Deep Thoughts on the Farm
At my cousin's wedding, my dad (who doesn't much care for his nephew's bride) thought it would be funny to flick his cigarette at her back as she walked down the aisle.
It got caught in her hair and started to smolder.
Her father had to get it out while she cried hysterically.
Then he punched my Uncle Raymond, whom he thought had tossed it, right square in the forehead and ended up breaking his own hand.
Good wedding.


A couple had been debating over buying a new car for weeks now.
He wanted a new truck, she wanted a fast little sports car so that she could zip through traffic around town.
He would've probable have settled for a beat up old truck.
But all she seemed to like were way out of their price range.
'Look, I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less' she said.
'Well, its my birthday coming up, so you can surprise me' she said.
So for her birthday, he got her a brand new bathroom scale!


When the bride and the groom are getting married the bride is thinking: 'This is the most romantic day of my life'
And the groom is thinking: 'I hope I get a shag for this later'


An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said, 'I enjoyed time with my wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.'
The artist said, 'I enjoyed time with my mistress, because of the passion and mystery I found there.'
The engineer said, 'I like both.'
'Both?'
they questioned.
The Engineer said, 'Yeah.
If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.'


Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to making women happy?
No, neither did I!


What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Use more lube.


Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing.
The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.
The wife said, 'He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children.'
The next-door neighbor protested, 'Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children.'
The wife replied, 'Yes, but who wants HIM back?'


While her husband was lying down, his wife removed his glasses.
'You know, honey,'
she said sweetly, 'Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married.'
'Honey,'
he replied with a grin, 'Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!'


 



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