Funny Jokes | 10 Funny Jokes About Relationships

Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to making women happy? No, neither did I!
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head. The wife asked the man, "Do you live here?" "No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!" he answered. The wife asked, "Are you a genie?" "Oh, why yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself," the man replied. The husband and wife agreed on two wishes - one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever. The genie nodded his head and said, "Done!" The genie now said, "For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire." The husband and wife agreed. After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?" To which she responded, "Three years." The genie then asked, "How old is your husband?" To which she replied, "31 years old" The genie then asked, "And how long has he believed in this genie crap?"
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
A plane crashes flying over the Pacific and somehow three people survive. Dave, Brad, and Naomi. They manage to make their way to a tiny island with enough resources to live and eat. After a few years of this nature inevitably took its course (in the spirit of procreation of course) and life went on as normal, after another few years Naomi spoke to the guys and said, "I can't stand this anymore, the guilt is too much, I'm going to kill myself" And did so, much to the annoyance of the guys. Another couple of years went by and again nature took its course, after a while Dave said to Brad, "I can't stand this anymore, the guilt is too much" "So what you gonna do?" inquired Dave. "I think I'll just bury her dude!"
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
When the bride and the groom are getting married the bride is thinking: "This is the most romantic day of my life" And the groom is thinking: "I hope I get a shag for this later"
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son!
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. "Who are you?" he asked. "I'm the Devil," she responded. Taking off his hat he said "Pleased to finally meet you sir," "I married your sister."
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
"The car won't start," aid a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburettor." "How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburettor is." "I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the carburettor." "We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?" "In the swimming pool."
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
A husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it ." The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it."
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to making women happy? No, neither did I.
Rate Good vote Rate Bad
While her husband was lying down, his wife removed his glasses. "You know, honey," she said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!"
Rate Good vote Rate Bad




One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
My cat constantly looks at me like I asked her to give me a ride to the airport.
They said too much of everything is bad... But too much of goodness ain't bad?