Funny Jokes | 10 Funny Various Jokes

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it. The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
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You think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all... The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!
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What do you call a person who can sit on an ice cream and tell the flavor? A smartass!
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Mick and paddy were at work one day. Paddy was digging a hole while Mick was putting the post in. Next Paddy was filling it back in again. The next day the boss came along and Paddy was digging a hole and filling it back in. The boss said, "Where are the posts?" Paddy answered, "Mick's off today!"
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So many pedestrians, so little time.
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What do you call 100 nuns in a shop? virgin megastore
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Q: How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose? A: 10 little piggies, one ass, two calves, one pussy, and some crabs on hares.
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One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help. "Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "this is very important." "Glad to help," she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says, "Thanks, I only need one copy."
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"Where did you get those zacklies?" "Zacklies?" "Yeah, your breath smells zacklie like your butt!"
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What do you call 32 West Virginian women in one room? A full set of teeth.
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One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I've decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust.
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Men read Playboy for the articles, women go to malls for the music.
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.