Funny Jokes | Various Jokes | A Man With A Pegleg Hook Hand And An Eyepatch Went To Apply To Be A Pirate

A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate. Interviewer: "How did you get that pegleg?" Pirate: "Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war." Interviewer: "How did you get that hook?" Pirate: "I got me hand cut off by a big knife." Interviewer: "What about your eyepatch?" Pirate: "It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye." Interviewer: "And that put your eye out?" Pirate: "No, it was the day after I got me hook."

One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
If you are here - who is running hell?
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?