Knock Knock Jokes: Knock Knock Who’s There

Knock, knock Who’s there? Sorry, wrong door. Okay. Knock, knock Who’s there? Federal Express Federal Express who? I don’t know. I just deliver packages. Knock, knock Who’s there? Tom. Tom who? Tom Buchanan. Hi Tom. Knock knock Who’s there? Pizza delivery guy. Pizza delivery guy who? You ordered a pizza? Yes. I’m the guy delivering it. Great. Knock knock. Who’s there? Susan. Susan who? Susan Caldwell. I’ll be right out, Susan. Knock, knock Who’s there. You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable. You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable who? I thought this was a redneck joke. Nope. It’s a knock, knock joke. Oops. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo Boo who Don’t get so upset, crybaby! What? Ha! Ha! I made you say "boo-hoo" You’re a real idiot. That wasn’t necessary. Knock knock Who’s there? Creeping penis. Creeping penis who? I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last! Knock, knock Yo mama Yo mama who? Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago. I bet you’re fat, huh? I’m… You are, aren’t you? Fat! I’m plumpish. Knock, knock Who’s there? FBI! … … Hello? FBI! Let us in! … …nobody here… Oh. Let’s go boys! (Phew!) Knock, knock Who’s there? There’s a dead old woman in your driveway. There’s a dead old woman in your driveway who? No. Seriously. There’s a dead old woman in your driveway. Actually, that’s just my piss-drunk bar slut of a grandmother. She sells toothless mouth love for "mind eraser" shooters at the Tyson’s Mall TGIFriday’s. Let the whore sleep it off. Knock, knock Who’s there? Henry. Henry who? Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac? I’m not opening the door Henry. Damn. Knock, knock Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH! Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who? Actually, I’m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster crap and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. So… You want to use my toilet? Yeah? Go right ahead. Got anything to read? Just the crossword. You finished it. Sorry? Hold my scythe. Hey! Don’t forget to light a match.


One-Liner Top 5:

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.