Animal Jokes
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Animal Jokes

This page contains 10 Animal Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Animal Jokes first.

There were three roasters.
A normal one, a backwards one and a guy one.
The normal one says cockle doodle do.
the backwards one says doodle doodle cock.
and the gay one says any cock will do


Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!


What do you do to an elephant with three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros!


There was a terrible bus accident.
Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses.
The police try to investigate further but they get no results.
At last, they try to interrogate the monkey.
The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures.
Seeing that, they start asking the questions.
The police chief asks, 'What were the people doing on the bus?'
The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around;
meaning the people were dancing and having fun.
The chief asks, 'Yeah, but what else were they doing?'
The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.
The chief says, 'Oh!
They were drinking, huh?!'
The chief continues, 'Okay, were they doing anything else?'
The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.
The chief loses his patience, 'If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?'
The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel...


There was once a rabbit and a bear who didnt like each other.
One day, they found a gini lamp, The gini said he would give them each 3 wishes.
The bear went first, he said, 'I wish to be the only male bear in this forest, and all the rest are female.'
and he got his wish.
Then the Rabbit went, he said 'I want a motorcycle'
and he very well got his wish too.
Then the bear went again, he said 'I wish to be the only male bear in the US, and all the rest are female, and he got his wish, Then the Rabbit went, 'I wish for a helmet to go with my motorcycle.
Of course, he got his wish.
It was their last wish, the bear wished to be the only male bear in the whole world and all the rest are female.
The the rabbit took its final wish, he said, 'I wish that bear is gay'


A chicken and an egg are lying in bed when the chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke.
The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, 'I guess we answered that question!'


What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
Winnie the Pooh!


There was a terrible bus accident.
Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses.
The police try to investigate further but they get no results.
At last, they try to interrogate the monkey.
The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures.
Seeing that, they start asking the questions.
The police chief asks, 'What were the people doing on the bus?'
The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around;
meaning the people were dancing and having fun.
The chief asks, 'Yeah, but what else were they doing?'.
The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.
The chief says, 'Oh!
They were drinking, huh?!'
The chief continues, 'Okay, were they doing anything else?'
The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.
The chief loses his patience, 'If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?'
The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.


How do you turn an elephant into a cherry tree?
You paint his balls red!
What is the loudest noise in the jungle?
A giraffe eating cherries!


Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty.
Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.
Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines.
Purrson: A male kitty.
Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.





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