What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry!
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking very frustrated.
The egg mutters, to no one in particular, 'Well, I guess we answered THAT question!'
Shannon is so lose she could be a wide reciver.
cause any guy with some balls can score on with lose shit
Why do Iraqis only have 2 pallbearers at their funerals?
Because garbage cans only have 2 handles!
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working.
What is the first thing a woman does when she leaves a battered wives shelter?
gets back in the kitchen if she knows whats good for her
What do Saddam and Miss Muffet have in common?
They both have Kurds in their Way!
What is funnier then a dead Osama bin Laden?
A dead Osama bin Laden in a clown suit!
The tooth fairy always told me that if i sold my body parts like my teeth then i would get some money..... so i blame the mother fuckin 'toothfairy'