Shannon is so lose she could be a wide reciver.
cause any guy with some balls can score on with lose shit
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking very frustrated.
The egg mutters, to no one in particular, 'Well, I guess we answered THAT question!'
What is funnier then a dead Osama bin Laden?
A dead Osama bin Laden in a clown suit!
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door.
The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.
She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The fireman says 'Hey little girl.
What are you doing?'
The little girl says 'I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!'
The fireman walks over to take a closer look.
'Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!'
the fireman says.
'Thanks mister', says the little girl.
The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by it's testicles.
'Little girl', says the fireman, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster.'
The little girl says, 'You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!'
What do Saddam and Miss Muffet have in common?
They both have Kurds in their Way!
What is the first thing a woman does when she leaves a battered wives shelter?
gets back in the kitchen if she knows whats good for her
Two cannibals meet one day.
The first cannibal says, 'You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary.
I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade.
I just can't seem to get them tender.'
The second cannibal asks, 'What kind of Missionary do you use?'
The other replied, 'You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river.
They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.'
the second cannibal replies.
those are FRIARS!'
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog.
All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
The manager runs up to the man and asks, 'What are you doing?!'
The blind man replies, 'Just looking around.'
If you think life is bad...
How would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard.
Only 2 minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 11 other guys.
But worst of all.
The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.
So cheer up...
Your life ain't that bad!