What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry!
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking very frustrated.
The egg mutters, to no one in particular, 'Well, I guess we answered THAT question!'
What do Saddam and Miss Muffet have in common?
They both have Kurds in their Way!
Shannon is so lose she could be a wide reciver.
cause any guy with some balls can score on with lose shit
Why do Iraqis only have 2 pallbearers at their funerals?
Because garbage cans only have 2 handles!
Why did Smokey the Bear never have children?
Because every time his wife got hot, he hit her with a shovel.
What is funnier then a dead Osama bin Laden?
A dead Osama bin Laden in a clown suit!
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working.
Real bumper stickers found on real cars: Horn broken.
Watch for finger.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
Forget about World Peace...
Visualize using your turn signal.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.