Bad Jokes
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Bad Jokes

This page contains 10 Bad Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Bad Jokes first.

One day these two best friends Jay and Bob were walking down the forset when suddently a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick,with a shocked look on Bob's face he ran for help and ended up in a hospital when he went to the doctor and told him ''quick quick i need your help my friend got bit by a snake on his penis'' the doctor looks down and tells him ''son your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself'' Bob asked'' please doctor there has to be another way to get rid of the venom'' the doctor says ''sorry theres nothing we can do'' so Bob goes running to his friend and when he gets there Jay says with pain '' so what did the doctor say?'' '' doctor said your gonna die

A man walks up to the teller at a bank, pulls out a gun, and demands $25,000 in cash.
The teller gets the $25,000 in cash and hands it over to the robber.
As the robber turns to leave he realizes that he better cover his face and make sure no one tells the cops who he is.
So he turns to the bank teller and says, 'Did I rob this bank today?'
The bank teller, being all confused about the situation, says, 'Yes you did.'
The robber then points the gun and her head, pulls the trigger, and BANG!
She's dead.
He then turns to the man in line behind him.
He asks the man the very same question, 'Did I rob this bank today?'
The man looks at the robber then at the dead teller and says, 'No, but my wife did!'

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, 'I'll have a shave and a shoe shine.'
The barber began to lather his face and sharpen the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
The cowboy said, 'Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room.'
She replied, 'I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that.
The cowboy said, 'Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference.'
She said, 'You tell him.
He is the one shaving you.'

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
So the one nun says to the other, 'Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door.'
So they do this, and begin painting their room.
Soon they hear a knock at the door.
They ask, 'Who is it?'
'Blind man!'
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, 'He's blind, he can't see.
What could it hurt.'
They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, 'Hey, nice tits.
Where do you want me to hang the blinds?'

A lady walked into a bank and asked to make a wager.
'I'm sorry, lady, but the bank doesn't make bets.'
the manager said to her.
'Oh I don't wanna make a bet with the bank, I want to make a bet with YOU.'
she said 'I wanna bet you, that by 10:00 tomorrow, your balls will be square.
If I win, I get 10,000$.
If you win, we go our separate ways.
The banker agrees and has the worst day and night he has ever had, constantly checking to see if they are still round.
By 10:00 the next day, felling quite pleased with himself that he has won.
At 9:59, the woman walks in with a huge Texan right behind her.
The banker pulls his pants down and the lady checks.
While she is checking, the Texan faints, makeing a huge thump.
'What's wrong with him?'
the banker asks.
'Oh, nothing.
I just bet him 50,000$ that by 10:00 this morning, I would have a banker by the you-know-what's.'

RejectedHallmark Cards: 1.
So your Daughters a hooker and it spoiled your day...
look on the bright side, she's a really good lay.
My tire was thumping...
I thought it was flat...
when I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat...
You had your Bladder removed and you're on the mends...
here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of depends.
Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
Cause when I had mine I felt real snippy.
Heard your wife left you...
How upset you must be...
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
You totaled your car...
and can't remember why...
could it have been...
that case of Bud Dry

Artie was a small-time ganster who was looking for some work, so he advertised in the newpaper that he would murder for pay.
Several weeks later he got a call from a man who wanted his wife killed, but could only pay a dollar.
That wasn't much money, but Artie took the job just to build up his reputation.
He tracked the wife into a grocery store, cornered her, and strangled her.
Then he strangled two witnesses.
The next day the headline read 'Artie chokes three for a dollar at the A&P.'

Two hungry cannibals are walking through the woods and find a man who recently died.
Seizing the opportunity, one cannibal says to the other, 'Check this out!
You start at the feet and I'll start at the head and we'll meet in the middle!'
So the two cannibals start eating.
After about 15 minutes one of them stops eating, looks up, and says, 'I don't know about you, but this is great!
How you doing?'
The other cannibal answers, 'This is great!
I'm havin' a ball!'
The first cannibal replies 'Hey, no fair!
You're eating too fast!'

Once there was a boy who slept with a girl few days ago. The boy was in deep love with her. And after a few days the guy went to a same girl and asked her name and number but the girl reffused to give her number. Then the guy asked her for a kiss. The girl gave him, then he realize that the girl was a prostitute.

2 Asianz R Bumming And 1 Sayz To The Uther, 'Ur A Paki I Dont Like U...'

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