Bad Jokes
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Bad Jokes

This page contains 10 Bad Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Bad Jokes first.

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Here was this old old turtle that wants to cross a 6lane free way to get to the river on the other side how does he get there thak the f out of free and the f out of way


Wats the difference between a brick and a red head?
The brick gets laid


A guy boards a train bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat.
He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a deeply bruised, black eye.
'Heck, what a coincidence!
We both have black eyes!
Mind if I ask how you got yours?'
'Well,'
explains the man, 'I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with beautiful breasts was behind the counter.
When I asked to purchase a ticket to Pittsburgh, I accidentally blurted out 'I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh' and so she sucker-punched me!'
The man continues, 'What's your story?'
The other guy explains, 'I was at the breakfast table and I meant to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties,' but I accidentally said, 'You ruined my life you stupid bitch.''


Early one morning, two nuns were out fishing.
One nun catches a fish, and upon inspecting it, says, 'This is a nice God Damn fish!'
The other nun, ashamed by what she heard, exclaims, 'Sister, you can't swear, you're part of the house of god!'
Calmly, the nun explains 'But it's the name of the fish, a God Damn fish'
A few hours later, satisfied with the fish they caught, they went back to the chapel to prepare the fish for a special dinner for a new minister they had acquired.
At dinner that evening with the fish perfectly prepared, the nuns ask the minister how he is enjoying his meal.
'Father, how do you like the God Damn fish?'
The father, caught by surprise and not skipping a beat, shouts 'I like this fucking place already!'


The tooth fairy always told me that if i sold my body parts like my teeth then i would get some money..... so i blame the mother fuckin 'toothfairy'
for prositution...!!


On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said, 'Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?'
To which the farmer replied, 'Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!'


Why do Iraqis only have 2 pallbearers at their funerals?
Because garbage cans only have 2 handles!


Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were having their honeymoon in a local motel.
They begin doing what honeymooners always do, but right before they consummate the marriage the woman says, 'Be gentle, I'm a virgin.'
The man is shocked and visibly upset and storms out of the room without saying a word.
He goes home to his family and tells them what happened, and his dad agrees, 'If she isn't good enough for her own family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for you!'


If your fat and you go swimming in america and see a shark do as follows 1.
swim as fast as you can for a fatter person 2.
head for the japenese fishing ship that (only hunts salmon)... 3.
Let your bowels go but animal rights will hound you 4.distract them with a skinny person note skinny person may not survive after bite 10 5.Petend that the shark has stolen your big boy


You so poor I walked inside your house and asked for dinner, your dad pulled down his pants and said, 'Hot dog?'





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