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Best Jokes

This page contains 10 Best Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best jokes first.


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Little Johnny was visiting his grandparents.
He was out on the porch when his grandpa pulled out a cigar.
"Can I have one?"
says little Johnny.
"Son, can your cock touch your ass?"
replies Grandpa.
Confused, little Johnny replies, "No."
"Then you're not old enough"
says grandpa.
Then grandpa pulls out some beer.
"May I have a drink?"
Asks Johnny.
"Can your cock touch your ass?"
Asks grandpa.
"No"
says Johnny.
Johnny sadly goes into the house.
He returns later with milk and cookies.
Grandpa sees the cookies and asks for one.
Johnny turns to grandpa and asks: "Grandpa, can your cock touch your ass?"
Grandpa with a smug look on his face replies: "Why yes.
Yes it can."
Without missing a beat Johnny says: "Then go screw yourself, Grandma said these are mine!"

Good Bad

Yo mama is so fat.
That when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease.
The doctor gave her 18 years to live!

Good Bad

What did Osama name his last daughter?
Camela - after her mother!

Good Bad

How can you tell the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snow balls

Good Bad

A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."

Good Bad

Here was this man in a bar he ordered a shot he finished the shot and peeked into his pocket then orders another shot and agian peeks into his poket he asks for another drink the bar-tender finally says "ill bring you drinks all night if you tell me why you keep llooking into your pocket!"
the man said that "
he has a picture of his wife in his pocket and as soon as she starts to look good i can go home "

Good Bad

A man went for an audition at a local club.
"You' better not be a hypnotist, they're not welcome here."
"No I'm not, I'm a singer, why, what's wrong with a hypnotist?"
"Well we had one a couple days ago with 10 people on stage in a trance when he tripped over the microphone wire and shouted 'Shit'.
We've been cleaning up ever since."

Good Bad

To a blonde, what is long and hard?
Fourth grade!

Good Bad

Knock, Knock Who's there?
Highway.
Highway who?
Highway 95 pounds!

Good Bad

A jelly baby goes to the doctor and says: "Doctor!
doctor!
I think I've got aids."
The doctor says, "You cant have aids you're too young!"
The jelly baby says, "But I've been sleeping with all sorts!"

Good Bad
 


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