Intellectual Bathroom Graffiti: Cindy Lou Edleman Performs Quality Sexual Favors * Your Mother and Father Are of the Same Genetic Background * Mexicans Smell Vaguely of Jalapenos * Last Night You Enjoyed Carnal Pleasures With Your Sister * Your Intelligence Quota is Dubious at Best * For a Moderate Fee I Believe Your Mother Would Fellate Me * You Have Had Intimate Relations With a Person of African Descent and You Shall Never Know the Love of a Caucasian Again. * You Look Upon Your Dog With Lust * Methinks You Have the Odor of Fecal Matter Upon You * I Partook in Intercourse with Your Sister's Derriere * The Acne on Your Face Spreads Throughout Your Nether Regions * The People of France Know Not the Joys of Deodorant * A Hamster is Superior in Intelligence to Your Mother * For An Evening of Sordid Delights Involving Both Sadism and Masochism, Please Ring Mary at 212.555.5555 * Ryan Beaugarde is Inadequate in the Ways of Oral Enjoyment * The Heavy Metal Rock Band Entitled Motley Crue is Quite First-Rate * Your Sexually Promiscuous Mother Can Be Found in the Phone Book Under "Whore" * Homosexuals Are Men Who Have Intercourse With Other Men. If You Participate in Such Activities You Are A Homosexual * Your Father's Proclivities Lead Him to Engage in Relations with Livestock * President Bush is Missing a Chromosome * The Toilet Upon Which You Currently Sit is Sprayed with a Mixture of Vomit, Feces and Urine.
Black Eye Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye. His father see's it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!" "Johnny", the father said, "you don't do those kind of things to women." Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" "But Dad" Johnny said. "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration: 1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name? wait for it? is www.whorepresents.com 2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com 3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net 4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com 5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company? www.powergenitalia.com 6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com 7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com 8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com 9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com 10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com
What do you call an abortion in Czechoslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
What do Osama bin Laden and crabs have in common? They both irritate Bush!
The teacher was checking her student roster on the first day of school and saw that she was missing three boys and one girl. After a couple of minutes went by, a boy named John walked in and the teacher asked where he was. He said, "Shree Hill." Then another student, named Bill, walked in and the teacher asked where he was. He also said, "Shree Hill." Then the third boy, Shawn, walked in and the teacher asked him where he had been. And he said, "On top of Shree Hill." Then, a girl walked in and the teacher asked, "Who are you?" And she said, "Shree Hill."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Venice Venice who? Venice your mother coming home?
Here was this man in a bar he ordered a shot. He finished the shot and peeked into his pocket. Then orders another shot and agian peeks into his pocket. He asks for another drink. The bar-tender finally says, "Ill bring you drinks all night if you tell me why you keep looking into your pocket!" The man said that he has a picture of his wife in his pocket and as soon as she starts to look good I can go home.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs? Cash and carry!
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon. All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?" The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips." The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?" Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."