Best Jokes
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Best Jokes

This page contains 10 Best Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best jokes first.

Will you remember me tomorrow?
Yes
Will your remember me in a week?
Yes
A month?
Yes
A year?
Yes
10 years?
Yes
Knock Knock
Who's there?
I thought you said you'd remember me!

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal.
The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
'Breast fed,' the woman replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor asked.
She did.
He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.
Motioning for her to get dressed he said, 'No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came.'

Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?
Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.

Black Eye Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye.
His father see's it and says, 'Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?'
Johnny, 'But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!'
'Johnny', the father said, 'you don't do those kind of things to women.'
Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny's father said, 'Johnny, I thought we had a talk!'
'But Dad' Johnny said, 'It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!'

5/4 of people admit that they're bad with fractions.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It's a little fishy.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Wow. You sure are excited to see me!

Here was this man in a bar he ordered a shot.
He finished the shot and peeked into his pocket.
Then orders another shot and agian peeks into his pocket.
He asks for another drink.
The bar-tender finally says, 'Ill bring you drinks all night if you tell me why you keep looking into your pocket!'
The man said that he has a picture of his wife in his pocket and as soon as she starts to look good I can go home.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.






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