Saddam's Chauffeur Saddam Hussein and his chauffeur were cruisin down the I-69 highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road.
It was killed instantly, so Saddam informs the driver to: "Go to the farm over the bypass and explain to the pig's owner what happened."
An hour later, Saddam sees his driver coming back from the farm, his clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other.
"What happened to you?"
"Well, the farmer gave me this bottle of wine, his wife, the cigar and their 21 year old daughter made passionate love to me."
What did you tell them?"
asked the President.
The driver answered: "Good afternoon, I am Saddam Hussein's chauffeur and I have just killed the pig."
Time magazine sent a survey to women in Arkansas, asking for their opinions on the Clinton Sex Scandal.
One of the questions: Would you ever have an affair with Bill Clinton?
The results were staggering!
5% answered "No"
3% answered "Yes"
92% answered "Never Again!"
Britney Spears had just bought her new car and decided to go shopping with her friend and rival, Christina Aguilera.
A few hours later she came out and realizes she had locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do.
Finally, Britney looked off into the distance and saw storm cloud.
She turned to her friend and said, "Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the top open!"
How did we know that Monica Lewinsky would testify?
Because she has a history of not being able to keep her mouth closed!
Why did Donald Trump ban shredded cheese as his first act as president?
He wanted to fur fill a campaign promise to "Make America Grate Again".
Have you seen the new HGTV show about the White House makeover?
It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
George Bush is so stupid, he went to a concert and waved to Stevie Wonder!
Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road?
He thought he saw the American flag, so he ran for his life.
Why did Osama bin Laden visit Mount Sinai?
He wanted to see the burning Bush!
If you're black you literally have to be a brain surgeon to get a Trump cabinet post.