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Celebrity Jokes

This page contains 10 Celebrity Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Celebrity Jokes first.

What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
Two more bullets!

Why was Oprah stopped at the airport?
She was getting arrested for carrying 300 lbs of crack in her pants!

Why does Congressman Gary Condit wear pants?
To keep his ankles warm!

What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
They were both upset when Bill finished first!

How do you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the front seat.

Have you heard that OJ is starting a new Airport Limo service?
His motto is, 'We get you there with time to kill!'

Due to a mix up on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.
Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, 'I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy.'
Not to be outdone, Britney ripped a $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, 'Look, I just made two people really happy.'
Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, 'Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier.'
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, 'I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people very happy!'

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One.
The President looks at the Vice President, chuckles, and says, 'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy.'
The Vice President shrugs and says, 'Well, I could throw 10 $100 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy.'
Not to be outdone, the Secretary of Defense says, 'Of course, then, I could throw 100 $10 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.'
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, 'Such arrogant asses back there.
Hell, I could throw the three of them out the window and make 56 million people unbelievably happy.'

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?
If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.

Did you hear about the love child Hillary Clinton had with Donald Trump?
It was all a secret until he used a private email server to run a fake university.

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