Celebrity Jokes
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Celebrity Jokes

This page contains 10 Celebrity Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Celebrity Jokes first.

A cop pulls Jenna Bush over for speeding and he notices her eyes are red.
He says, 'Gee, your eyes look red.
Have you been drinking?'
Jenna replies, 'No officer, but gee, your eyes look glazed.
Have you been eating doughnuts?


What do you get when you mix a red head and Michael Jackson?
You get Ronald Mcdonald.


What is the difference between a Scottish man and a member of the Rolling Stones?
A member of the Rolling Stones says, 'Hey you!
Get off my cloud!'
The Scot says, 'Hey McCloud, get off my ewe!'


Ghosts of the White House One night, George W.
Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed.
He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him, 'George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?'
'Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,'
Washington advises, and then fades away... The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom.
Bush calls out, 'Tom, please!
What is the best thing I can do to help the country?'
'Respect the Constitution, as I did,'
Jefferson advises, and dims from sight... The third night sleep still does not come for Bush.
He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed.
Bush whispers, 'Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?'
'Help the less fortunate, just as I did,'
FDR replies and fades into the mist... Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows.
It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln.
Bush pleads, 'Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?'
Lincoln replies, 'Go see a play.'


Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face.
He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back.
He always makes it to Oregon before you.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.
Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.


Sherlock Holmes and Dr.
Watson go on a camping trip.
After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'
'I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes'
exclaims Watson.
'And what do you deduce from that?'
Watson ponders for a minute.
'Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
What does it tell you, Holmes?'
And Holmes said: 'Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.'


Trump: 'Foreign Policy?
If you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee!'


Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!


How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?
Cause your the only one Hair.


I am so pissed off!
i have jus bought a computer game, colin mcrae in a helicopter, it keeps crashing.
it cost me £50 its wank.





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