Letters to Bad Santa: Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year.
Please, please, please, PLEASE!
Jimmy, That whiny-begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap don't work up here.
You're getting a sweater again.
- Santa Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas.
Iv ben a good boy all yeer.
YeR FReND, BiLLy.
Dear Billy, Nice spelling.
You're on your way to being a career lawncare specialist.
How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!
-Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you can do.
Dear Teddy, What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the babysitter?
He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son!
Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
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