Cheesy Jokes

This page contains 10 Cheesy Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Cheesy Jokes first.

Show me a piano falling down a shaft and I will show you A-flat Minor

I went to the store the other day.
I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a stupid idiot.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
Then I really got angry at him.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner!

There was a tribe of Indians and a kid went to the chief and they were talking about stuff.
Then the kid asked the chief, 'Where do our names came from?'
The chief said, 'The woman that gave birth to you names you'
'What she sees when she has you'
'Why do you ask? TWO DOGS FUCKING'

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father.
While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra.
The man asks, 'Why are you doing that?
I mean, at his age what will it do for him?'
The nurse explains, 'The hot chocolate will help him sleep.'
The man says, 'And the Viagra?'
'Keeps him from falling out of bed.'

What is the difference between a woman a pool table?
On the pool table, you put the balls in the hole and the stick stays out.

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines.
After many years he finds a theater where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says, 'This is the most important part, and it has only one line.
You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose.
You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line: Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'
The actor is thrilled.
All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again.
Finally, the time came.
The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion delivered the line, 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'
The theater erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming!
'You bloody fool!'
he cried, 'You have ruined me!'
The actor was bewildered, 'What happened, did I forget my line?'
'No!'
screamed the director.
'You forgot the rose!'

A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.
'Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?'
'Because he was conceived during a mighty storm', she said.
Then he asked, 'Why is my sister named Cornflower?'
'Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her', she replied.
He then asked, 'And why is my other sister called Moonchild?'
'We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived', the mother replies.
The mother paused and said to her son, 'Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?'

Soviet variation on a classic US presidents on a sinking boat: Classic joke: Kennedy, Nixon and Carter (sometimes said with Clinton instead of Kennedy) are on a sinking boat.
Carter says, 'Get all of the women and children off the boat!'
Nixon: 'Fuck the women and children, get me off!'
Kennedy: 'Fuck the women and children?
Do you think we have time?'
Soviet Variation: Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are on a ship hit by an iceberg and it's now sinking.
Khrushchev says, 'Quick, we need to reform the ship and stop it from sinking!'
Stalin: 'Stop it from sinking?
Ah fuck the ship!
I drove it into the iceberg on purpose.'
Brezhnev: 'Fuck the ship?
Do you think we have time?'

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date.
When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and sitting in the front room.
The rich lady approaches the butler and requests that he remove her dress, so the butler removes her dress.
She then asks the butler to remove her bra, which he does.
She then asks him to remove her panties and he this this also.
The lady then tells the butler never to dress in her clothes again.

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach.
The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says: 'Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!'
The mom says: 'The bigger they are, the dumber they are.'
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says: 'Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than daddy's!'
The mom says: 'The bigger they are, the dumber they are.'
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says: 'Mommy, I just saw daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!'

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