A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date.
When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and sitting in the front room.
The rich lady approaches the butler and requests that he remove her dress, so the butler removes her dress.
She then asks the butler to remove her bra, which he does.
She then asks him to remove her panties and he this this also.
The lady then tells the butler never to dress in her clothes again.
What is the difference between a woman a pool table?
On the pool table, you put the balls in the hole and the stick stays out.
A local reporter was interviewing locals about the various uses of vaseline.
He knocked on a door, and a man answered in his bathrobe.
"Sir, could you tell me what you use vaseline for?"
"Hmm...well, dry lips, dry skin, and, of course, sex."
"Well, me and the missus put a little vaseline on the doorknob..."
"And it keeps the kids out."
A female Olympic swimmer was talking with one of her teammates about using steroids.
She claimed that she was going to quit taking them because she was growing hair in scary places.
When her friend asked her where the hair was growing, she replied, "On my nuts."
There was a tribe of Indians and a kid went to the chief and they were talking about stuff.
Then the kid asked the chief, "Where do our names came from?"
The chief said, "The woman that gave birth to you names you"
"What she sees when she has you"
"Why do you ask?
TWO DOGS FUCKING"
A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father.
While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra.
The man asks, "Why are you doing that?
I mean, at his age what will it do for him?"
The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep."
The man says, "And the Viagra?"
"Keeps him from falling out of bed."
What did the mother-fucker, say to the other mother-fucker?
Some good pick-up lines:
1. I bet you $200 you won't sleep with me tonight.
2. You know there is a fairy the makes you pretty by tapping you with her wand, so she must have beat the shit out of you.
3. Are you an angel, because I have an erection.
They always wear protection 2.
They have great hands 3.
They are used to scoring 4.
They have great stamina 5.
They find the opening and get it in 6.
They never miss the target 7.
They know how to use their wood 8.
They have long sticks 9.
They know when to play rough 10.
Because baseball players only know how to hit balls
Man who stuffs his own sausage, pounds his own meat.