Corny Jokes
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Corny Jokes

This page contains 10 Corny Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Corny Jokes first.

A Mexican, Italian, and an american were going down the road in a truck and the Italian starts to throw spaghetti out the window and the Mexican asks 'why are you throwing spaghetti out the window?'
The Italian says 'Well where I come from we got a lot of it.'
So the Mexican starts throwing tacos out the window and the American asks 'why are you throwing tacos out the window?'
The Mexican says 'Well where I came from we got a lot of it.'
So the American throws the Mexican out the window and the Italian asks 'why are you did you throw the Mexican out the window?'
The American says 'Well where i come from we got a lot of them.'


Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58.
The counter girl took my $2.
I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her.
She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register.
I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help.
While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.
Why do I tell you this?
Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950,s: Teaching Math In 1950 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is >>4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is $80.
Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?
There are no wrong answers.
Teaching Math In 2005 Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100.
El costo de la produccion es $80...


Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to watch their team play the Red Sox.
They start making fun of a couple of Red Sox supporters who only have one ticket between the two of them.
Just before the conductor appears both Red Sox fans go into the bathroom and lock the door behind them.
When the conductor knocks on the door they slip the ticket under the door, the conductor clips it and slides it back under the door and off he goes.
On the return journey the Yankees fans decide to pull the same trick and purchase only one ticket for the two of them.
They notice that yet again the two Red Sox supporters only have one ticket between them.
The Yankees fans realize there is only one bathroom per carriage and quickly take the lead, locking themselves in first, leaving the Red Sox fans with nowhere to go.
A minute later the Red Sox fan without a ticket strolls over to the bathroom and knocks on the door.


There were three men on top of a mountain.
There was a russian, a cowboy and a mexican.
The russian takes a drink of his vadca and then throws off the side and says, we have plenty of that where I come from.
Then the mexican takes a drink of his tequela and then throws it off the side and says, we have plenty of that where I come from.
Then the cowboy took a drink of his jack daniels and then pushed the mexican off and said we have plenty of those where I come from.


A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads 'low bridge ahead.'
Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'


Freeze Your Ass Off
Two farmers, Joe and Bob, lived as neighbors, but didn't like each other much.
In 1989, there was a period of -30 degree centigrade  cold and Bob and Joe had nothing to do because of it.
So they bet a bottle of vodka who can sit out on the  window ledge the longest with a bare ass.
After two hours Bob's wife came home and asked Bob,  'What are you doing?'
Bob explained and she said,  'Come on, you will only freeze your ass off.'
Bob refused as he wanted to win the bet.
Then his wife got an idea.
'Lets change places when Joe  is looking the other way.'
Bob's Wife put on the same kind of pullover and cap and  traded places with Bob.
Half an hour later Joe's wife came home and asked him,  'What are you doing?'
Joe told her and said, 'I am  determined to win the bottle!'
'You are crazy.
Come on in.'
'Certainly not, I am already on the winning side.
Bob lost his balls half an hour ago!'


Embarrassing Moment - First Date We have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake.
This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays.
This was on the 'Tonight Show'
with Jay Leno.
Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience.
There absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter ...
snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead.
It was a day trip (no overnight).
They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.
All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long'
with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance'!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As for the Tonight Show ...
she took the prize hands down ...
or perhaps that should be 'pants down.'
And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment - - - - This gives a whole new meaning to being 'pissed off.'


Helen was not the most attentive in church.
Usually she slept through the service.
One day, aware of this fact, the preacher called on her while she was napping, 'Tell me, Helen, who created the universe?'
When Helen didn't stir, her husband took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
'God Almighty!'
shouted Helen and the preacher said, 'Very good'
and Helen fell back to sleep.
A while later the preacher asked Helen, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'
But Helen didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, her husband came to the rescue and stuck her again.
'Jesus Christ!'
shouted Helen and the preacher said, 'Very good,'
and Helen fell back to sleep.
Then the preacher asked Helen a third question, 'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'
And again, her husband jabbed her with the pin.
This time Helen jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!'
The preacher fainted.


Three boys were sitting on some steps watching cars go by.
They see a Cadillac Escalade drive by and the first boy says, 'I wish i could have that Cadillac.
The second boy says, 'I wish I could have that Lincoln Navigator behind it.
The third boy says, 'i wish my whole body was covered in curly hair because my sister has a small patch between her legs and that is how she got both of those cars.


An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada.
Suddenly his car gets broken.
He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called.
But the chief has only $4, and no credit card (unfortunately B-) ).
So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: 'Hey, send somebody to my location with $500!'
The tribe accepts this signal, but to make sure in its meaning, signals back - once again, with the smoke: 'OK, chief, but why so much ?'
At this moment a ground test of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby.
A huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky... The tribe signals: 'Ok, Ok, chief, we just wondered, why to be so angry?'





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