Corny Jokes
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Corny Jokes

This page contains 10 Corny Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Corny Jokes first.

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog.
All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
The manager runs up to the man and asks, 'What are you doing?!'
The blind man replies, 'Just looking around.'

Who is Jack Schitt?
The lineage is finally revealed.
Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says: 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyphenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt.
The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable thoughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers.
The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.
So, NOW if someone says: 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can beg to differ.
You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!

Two men were out fishing, when they found a lamp floating in the water.
One of the men picked it up and rubbed it, causing a genie to explode from the lamp.
Unfortunately, it was a very low-level genie and could only grant one wish.
The men thought for a few minutes and then wished for the entire lake to be made of the best beer in the world.
With a poof!
the wish was granted.
All of a sudden, one of the men got really angry.
'Dammit!
Now we have to piss in the boat!'

An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds.
Man, 'No, not worth it!'
Stranger, 'OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?'
Man, 'No, not worth it!'
Stranger, 'Okay, 20?'
Man, 'No, not worth it!'
Stranger, 'How about 10?'
Man, 'No, not worth it!'
Stranger, 'Listen, these pills cost US $10 each.
How can you say they are not worth it?'
Man, 'Oh, the pills ARE worth it.
My wife is not worth it!'

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, 'And what starting salary were you looking for?'
The candidate said, 'In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.'
The HR Person said, 'Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?'
The Engineer sat up straight and said, 'Wow!
Are you kidding?'
And the HR Person said, 'Certainly, ...but you started it.'

Yo daddy so bald when he wears a turtle neck it looks like a broken condum

HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS.
PRES.
BUSH AUTHORIZED A 700 MILE FENCE TO BE BUILT ALONG THE BORDER WITH MEXICO.
WE ALREADY HAVE ALL THE MEXICAN SWIMMERS AND HIKERS NOW WE WILL HAVE ALL THEIR POLE VAULTERS TOO

Three guys shut up,manners and crap were driving too fast and and crap felt out of the car.
Shut up went to the police station where the police man asked 'whats your name?'
Shut up he said.
Where are your manners the police man asked.
Then shut up said 'outside on the road scrappin up crap

A pompous minister was seated next to a hillbilly on a flight across the country.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The hillbilly asked for a whiskey and coke, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, 'I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch these lips.'
The hillbilly then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, 'Shit, me too.
I didn't know we had a choice.'

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already!




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