Corny Jokes
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Corny Jokes

This page contains 10 Corny Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Corny Jokes first.

2 Nuns and a Blind Man
Two young nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even one single drop of paint on their habits.
After discussing it, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint naked.
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
'Who is it?' calls one of the nuns.
'Blind man,' replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other, shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
'Nice boobs,' says the man, 'Where do you want the blinds?'


I asked a Jew who he was going to vote for as president.
He said, 'Well, the last time Jews listened to a bush, they wandered in the desert for 40 years.'


A cop pulls over a drunk driver.
The drunk driver says, 'Ossssifer, you need to get your records straight.
You just asked me for my license, but you took it away yesterday!'


A fat man is dancing at a disco, and he is approached by a beautiful woman.
'What on earth do you think you are doing?', says the woman.
The obese man replies, 'Shaking my groove thang.'
The woman laughs and says, 'If that is a groove?
The Grand Canyon is a ditch!'


Cardinal Eagan of New York is upset over an unsigned letter written by priests in his parish.
He is insisting that all his priests get behind him.
And give him a sign of their support!


Once there was a cuban, mexican,nigeran, and a white guy stuck in a boat in the middle of the ocean.
the cuban guy pulls out a cigar takes one puff and throws it into the ocean the white guy astioned asked him why did u throw that into the ocean thats a huge thing in the usa the cuban guy jus said we have to many of them.
then the nigeran guy took out so vodica took one sip and threw it in the ocean again the white guy asked why did u throw it into the ocean he just said we jus have to much of it.
so then the white guy thought about what they had too much of and then he threw the mexican into the ocean


According to 'The Australian,'
an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.
The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.
The vibration stopped immediately.
A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.


Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming... Damn, What a ride!


The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual performance evaluations:
1 Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2 His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
3 I would not allow this associate to breed.
4 Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5 When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
6 He would be out of his depth in a puddle.
7 This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
8 She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
9 This associate should go far - and the sooner he starts the better.
10 This associate is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.


There was a party that many rich people attended.
The host had recently built a tank with many alligators, paranas, and many other things that could kill you.
The host said that if anyone could swim across the tank, he would, to the best of his ability, grant them 3 wishes.
Well, nobody was up to the challenge, so everyone just started having a good time and doing that 'party thing.'
Suddenly, there was this big splash!
The host looked and saw a man swimming to beat hell across the tank, and, look and behold, he made it!
The host walked over to the man and said, 'Alright, you made it, WOW!.
What are your 3 wishes?'
The man replied, 'First, you see that shotgun of yours?
give me it, Two, see those bullets over there?
give me them, 3, show me the bastard who pushed me in.'





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