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Dad Jokes

This page contains 10 Dad Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dad Jokes first.

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Cashier: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" Dad: "No, just leave it in the carton!"

Good Bad

When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I'm half left."

Good Bad

Grocery store checker: "Paper or plastic?" Dad: "Either, I'm bisacktual."

Good Bad

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

Good Bad

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

Good Bad

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.

Good Bad

When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

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A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.

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My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

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Funny Riddles

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