5/4 of people admit that they're bad with fractions.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It's a little fishy.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
Cashier: 'Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?'
Dad: 'No, just leave it in the carton!'
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.