Dark Humor Jokes
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Dark Humor Jokes

This page contains 10 Dark Humor Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dark Humor Jokes first.

"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" the patient asked. "To the morgue," the doctor replied. "What?" The patient panicked. "But I'm not dead yet!" "And we're not there yet," the doctor said.


When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken. "Nothing special," he explained. "We just tell them they're going to die."


"I work with animals," the guy says to his date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.


My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!" They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.


Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.


I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."


When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.


Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face. For instance, when you push them down the stairs.


Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.


"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."


 



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