Dark Humor Jokes
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Dark Humor Jokes

This page contains 10 Dark Humor Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dark Humor Jokes first.

I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That's the punch line.

Why was the leper hockey game canceled? There was a face off in the corner.

Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?" "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"

I don't have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.




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