What do you call an abortion in Czechoslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
How does Osama bin Laden practice safe sex? He marks the camels that kick!
What did Osama name his last daughter? Camela - after her mother!
When do you know when a picnic turns Gay? When the hot dogs taste like shit!
It was Christmas evening, and little Timmy with his sisters couldn't wait the next morning, when presents are opened. Finally mom got 'em into bed and started to arrange packets. Next morning everyone rushed downstairs and started to open presents. Little Timmy was confused, he didn't see any packets with his name on it, but his sisters got many. Finally he asked from his mother, 'Why I don't have any presents?' 'Because you have cancer' mom replied.
How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Eminem has to chew before swallowing!
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. 'I have just the thing' says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. 'Just place this between your cheek and gum.' The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, 'And what if I swallow it?' 'No problem', says the barber, 'just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!'
What did the thirsty whale do? Bit the tail of a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, 'Hello ladies!'
What did the leper say to the blonde hooker? Keep the tip!