Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

Thank You!

Theres a boy named Jhonne and his mom is always in the bed with kids so he asked her one day did you do it with max and she said no no way then Jhonne said are you sure because in the changeroom today his dick looked like a rainbow and you sure where alot of lipstick

Enemy ship it's 1841.'captain 1 ship on the horizon'.'assitant bring me my red shirt'.the battle goes on and they lose no allys.'captian you told me to bring u a red shirt.why'.Because if i was bleeding and happended to be shot the sailors wouldn't have noticed and continued to fight on.'wow thats cool'.captian 20 ships on the horizion.assitaint bring me my brown pants

A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Western Oklahoma.
He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best Okie manner says, 'Nah, go ahead.'
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.
He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.
The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too!'

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other missionary couldn't believe it!
He said, 'What's wrong with you?
We're being boiled alive!
They're gonna eat us!
What could possibly be funny at a time like this?'
The other missionary replied, 'I just peed in the soup!'

Two tampons were crossing the street.
They see a friend.
Which one waves?
Neither, they are both stuck up cunts!

How do you know if Dr.
Dre has a high sperm count?
Eminem has to chew before swallowing!

One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, 'Hello ladies!'

Their was this kid that always got picked on at school.
Everyday his friends and kids that went to school always said to him, 'F**k you.'
Well the dumb kid always was curious about what the word f**k means.
One day he got real sad and wanted to know what it meant, so he ran home and rushed in the house screaming out for his father.
He yelled, 'Pah!'
And then his pa came out and asked, 'What hell you want boy?'
The boy said, 'Pah, what does f**k mean?'
And then his pah said, 'Son I think it's time you knew what f**k mean.'
Pah then yelled out, 'Mah, get down here, son wants to know what f**k mean.'
Mah comes down stairs, pah says, 'Mah take off your clothes and get in your position.'
He turns to his son and says, 'Son you see that pink spot on mah?
Uh huh watch your pah go to work!'
Then the boys sister came in the door and says, 'What are they doing?'
The boy turns his head and with a smile he says, 'They fuckin.'
Sister says, 'What does f**k mean?'
'WELL YOU SEE THAT BROWN SPOT ON PAH uh huh WATCH YOUR BROTHER GO TO WORK!'

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically.
The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms.
Maybe it's a good thing.
The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly.
This piques the interest of the pharmacist.
What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?
So he tells his clerk, 'If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes.'
Sure enough, the next day the man is back.
He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves.
The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the guy.
About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
'Did you follow him?
Where did he go?'
asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies, 'Your house!'

'Where did you get those zacklies?'
'Zacklies?'
'Yeah, your breath smells zacklie like your butt!'

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