Did you hear the one about the Jewish porn film?
It was 10 minutes of sex and 50 minutes of guilt.
What did the leper say to the blonde hooker?
Keep the tip!
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina.
What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
What does a girl and a plane have in common?
They both have cockpits.
When do you know when a picnic turns Gay?
When the hot dogs taste like shit!
Ok now you know how newlyweds like to screw all the time, well the the husband bought colored condoms to make it interesting and the wife always like the yellow ones.
Well when they were done he would always throw it out the window.
Well one day they were out of yellow ones so the husband went outside to get the one he threw out and when he got there a little kid was holding it.
So he thought of a way to get it back.
He went up to the kid and said, "Hey kid I'll give you 20 dollars for that Twinkie!"
The kid said, "Ok"
Well the guy went home happy and the kid went back to his mom and said, "Mom this guy gave me 20 bucks for a Twinkie I already sucked the filling out of!"
What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary Clinton after having sex?
"I will be home in 20 minutes, dear."
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper.
There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: "When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned."
The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.
What do Micheal Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Both are made of plastic and both get turned on by kids!