Dirty Jokes
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Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

Bush Plans WW3 A guy walks in and asks the bartender, 'Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?'
The bartender says, 'Yep, that's them.'
So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor.
What are you guys doing in here?'
Bush says, 'We're planning WWIII.'
And the guy says, 'Really?
What's going to happen?'
Bush says, 'Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one librarian.'
The guy exclaimed, 'A librarian!
Why kill a librarian?'
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, 'See, dummy!
I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!'

One day a man walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that he wanted a 100 dollar bill tattooed on his dick.
The tattoo artist told him if he could give him three reasons why he wanted the tattoo he would give it to him.
The man says, 'Well, for one, I like to play with my money, two, I like to watch it grow, and three, if my wife wants to blow 100 dollars again, she doesn't have to go to the mall!'

Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?
Because things were looking a little fuzzy.

What did the thirsty whale do?
Bit the tail of a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.

This little girl sees her dad naked in the shower and says 'daddy whats that'
he replies 'erm thats my bird'
she says '
what are they next to it'
he replies 'there its eggs'
and then she says 'what are they sitting on'
then the man says 'thats its nest'
The next he wakes up and he screams his daughter runs in and she says '
last night i stroked your bird and it spat at me so i snapped the birds neck cracked is eggs and burnt its nest'

Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, 'We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?'
The mother told them, 'Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours.'
So the nuns left thinking, 'What can I do that's unholy?'
The next day they went to the mother one at a time.
The mother said tot he first nun, 'What unholy thing did you do?'
and the nun said 'I stole a kid's bike.'
The mother said, 'I guess that will do, go drink some holy water.'
When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.
The second nun walked in and the mother said, 'What unholy thing did you do?'
The nun replied, 'I slept with a married man!'
The mother said, 'Well, that's sinning.
Go drink holy water.'
The third nun walked in and the mother said, 'What unholy thing did you do?'
The third nun said proudly, 'I pissed in the holy water!'

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically.
The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms.
Maybe it's a good thing.
The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly.
This piques the interest of the pharmacist.
What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?
So he tells his clerk, 'If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes.'
Sure enough, the next day the man is back.
He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves.
The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the guy.
About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
'Did you follow him?
Where did he go?'
asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies, 'Your house!'

Did you know that diarrhea runs in the jeans!

Two flies were flying around a pile of poo and the first fly started sniffing around and said, 'Ew, who farted?'

What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?

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