Dirty Jokes
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Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

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Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, 'We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?'
The mother told them, 'Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours.'
So the nuns left thinking, 'What can I do that's unholy?'
The next day they went to the mother one at a time.
The mother said tot he first nun, 'What unholy thing did you do?'
and the nun said 'I stole a kid's bike.'
The mother said, 'I guess that will do, go drink some holy water.'
When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.
The second nun walked in and the mother said, 'What unholy thing did you do?'
The nun replied, 'I slept with a married man!'
The mother said, 'Well, that's sinning.
Go drink holy water.'
The third nun walked in and the mother said, 'What unholy thing did you do?'
The third nun said proudly, 'I pissed in the holy water!'

What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.

What do you call a million Mexicans rolling down a hill.
A mudslide!

A man had to go to the bathroom really bad and the Men's bathroom was locked so he had to go into the Women's.
When he got there, there was three buttons.
One said 'TP'
for Toilet Paper, the second said 'HW'
for Handwashing, and the last said 'TR'
and he didn't know what it ment.
After he was finished, he pressed 'TP'
for toilet paper and 'HW'
to wash his hands.
He got curious and press the third button.
Next thing he knows, he's in the hospital in severe pain.
The third button was a Tampon Removal.

Why are black people so good at basketball?
Because they can shoot, steal and run!

What does a girl and a plane have in common?
They both have cockpits.

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, 'Vietnam, 1969.'
The other points his thumb behind him and says, 'Dog crap, 20 feet back.'

A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady.
A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and let loose a big noisy fart.
Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her 'Do you by any chance have today's paper?'
The lady looked at him and said, 'No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves.'

It is 10:00 at the police station and there is only 2 officers working that day...Billy-Bob and Billi-Jo.
billy-bob: hey billi-jo...can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob!:> ...now its 11:00 at the police station... billy-bob: hey billi-jo...can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob!:> ...now its midnight... and the power goes out...!
billy-bob: hey billi-jo...can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob!:> wait?!
billy-bob thats not my belly-button.
billy-bob: i know...:> and thats not my finger!:>

How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?
10 little piggies, one ass, two calves, one pussy, and some crabs on hares.




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