What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
You push them both aside when you eat.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, 'Vietnam, 1969.'
The other points his thumb behind him and says, 'Dog crap, 20 feet back.'
Ther were three brothers.
One day they saw a pile of shit.
The first one said 'I think it is shit, let me smell it'
and he does.
The second one says im ging to touch it and he does.The third one says he will eat it and he does.
There were three ladys,they were in the salon one of them had blonde hair,one of them had brown and one had green.
the hair dresser asked the blonde and the brown is that your natarel hair the blonde and the brown said yes when she got to the green one she said is that your natarel hair and she rubbed her nose whithe the palm of her hand a nd took it to her head and said yes
A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada, and started to chew it.
He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.
French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring.
Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?
French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.
This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out.
The tramp said that he would only leave if the barman gave him a cocktail stick.
The barman, thinking this was a fair exchange, gladly gave the man a cocktail stick and watched him stagger back outside.
A minute later another old wino walked into the bar and got asked to leave by the barman.
This drunk also demanded a cocktail stick if he was to leave quietly.
There had been no trouble the first time so, once again, the barman obliged and the old drunk quietly left.
Soon after, a third wino came into the barman and without hesitation the barman offered him a cocktail stick to leave.
This time though the drunk turned him down and said he would only leave if the barman gave him a drinking straw.
Curiosity finally got the better of the barman and he asked the old drunk why he wanted a drinking straw when the other two drunks had asked for cocktail sticks.
The wino said 'Well, someone was sick outside and all the lumpy bits have gone now!'
Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?
Because things were looking a little fuzzy.
What does a girl and a plane have in common?
They both have cockpits.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
What do Micheal Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Both are made of plastic and both get turned on by kids!