What do you call nuts on a wall?
Wallnuts What do you call nuts on your chest?
Chest nuts What do you call nuts on your chin?
A penis in your mouth
One day a man walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that he wanted a 100 dollar bill tattooed on his dick.
The tattoo artist told him if he could give him three reasons why he wanted the tattoo he would give it to him.
The man says, 'Well, for one, I like to play with my money, two, I like to watch it grow, and three, if my wife wants to blow 100 dollars again, she doesn't have to go to the mall!'
'Where did you get those zacklies?'
'Yeah, your breath smells zacklie like your butt!'
Ther were three brothers.
One day they saw a pile of shit.
The first one said 'I think it is shit, let me smell it'
and he does.
The second one says im ging to touch it and he does.The third one says he will eat it and he does.
The Mens Room
In the men's bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.
The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished.
He turned to the other two men and commented, 'I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean.'
The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, 'I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious.'
The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, 'I graduated from Texas Tech University and they taught us not to piss on our hands.
What is 68?
You do me and I owe you!
Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and a dozen donuts.
Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony?
A. The girl who can eat the last donut.
Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?
Because things were looking a little fuzzy.
Father:son how do u control ur anger when i have beaten u.
son:i brush the toilet with ur teeth brush.
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically.
The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms.
Maybe it's a good thing.
The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly.
This piques the interest of the pharmacist.
What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?
So he tells his clerk, 'If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes.'
Sure enough, the next day the man is back.
He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves.
The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the guy.
About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
'Did you follow him?
Where did he go?'
asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies, 'Your house!'