Dirty Jokes
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Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

How do you know if Dr.
Dre has a high sperm count?
Eminem has to chew before swallowing!

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One old lady turns to the other and asks, 'Do you still get horny?' The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'

How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.

Two flies were flying around a pile of poo and the first fly started sniffing around and said, 'Ew, who farted?'

What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?

A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper.
There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: 'When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned.'
The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.

This Old man decided to go to a whore house one night.
When he arrived he went to the owner and he said, 'Listen, I want a girl with Gonorrhea!'
The owner nodded and sent him upstairs to a room.
Then she called one of her favorites for him.
The girl went into the room and started to undress for him.
He quickly asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
I certainly do not!'
she said.
The Old man sent her back and requested a girl with Gonorrhea.
The owner called over one girl and told her to say she had to just to make him happy.
So the girl went up to the room and the old man asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
She smiled and said, 'Of course I do.'
They got into bed and begun to fuck away.
It lasted 10 minutes then she said, 'Listen Old man, I have a confession to make, I don't have Gonorrhea.'
The Old man smiled and replied, 'Now you do!'

What do you call a million Mexicans rolling down a hill.
A mudslide!

This guy arrives home to find his wife waiting for him by the door.
'And what time do you call this,' she starts angrily, 'You went down to the take away three hours ago, and now you stagger back here stinking of booze, with no food!'
'Look,' the guy responds calmly, 'How do you fancy a chicken vindaloo, rice, bombay potatoes, and a chapatti?'
'Oh, all right then.' his now really hungry wife agrees.
'Fine.' He says, and throws up all over her!

Father:son how do u control ur anger when i have beaten u.
son:i brush the toilet with ur teeth brush.

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