Dirty Jokes
This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out.
The tramp said that he would only leave if the barman gave him a cocktail stick.
The barman, thinking this was a fair exchange, gladly gave the man a cocktail stick and watched him stagger back outside.
A minute later another old wino walked into the bar and got asked to leave by the barman.
This drunk also demanded a cocktail stick if he was to leave quietly.
There had been no trouble the first time so, once again, the barman obliged and the old drunk quietly left.
Soon after, a third wino came into the barman and without hesitation the barman offered him a cocktail stick to leave.
This time though the drunk turned him down and said he would only leave if the barman gave him a drinking straw.
Curiosity finally got the better of the barman and he asked the old drunk why he wanted a drinking straw when the other two drunks had asked for cocktail sticks.
The wino said 'Well, someone was sick outside and all the lumpy bits have gone now!'
How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
What do you call a bunch of women hanging around prostitutes?
Support hos!
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
'Honey, no in-between meal snacks!'
What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
You push them both aside when you eat.
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home.
He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief, 'This is a tree.'
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'Tree.'
The missionary is pleased with the response.
They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, 'This is a rock.'
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, 'Rock.'
The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.
As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity.
The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, 'Riding a bike.'
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them.
The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied, 'My bike.'
A Marine and Navy-man are in the bathroom together, and the Marine goes to leave without washing his hands.
'Hey,'
says the Navy-man, 'in the Navy they teach us to wash our hands.'
'In the Marines, they teach us not to piss on our hands.'
Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?
Because things were looking a little fuzzy.
This Old man decided to go to a whore house one night.
When he arrived he went to the owner and he said, 'Listen, I want a girl with Gonorrhea!'
The owner nodded and sent him upstairs to a room.
Then she called one of her favorites for him.
The girl went into the room and started to undress for him.
He quickly asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
'Gonorrhea?
I certainly do not!'
she said.
The Old man sent her back and requested a girl with Gonorrhea.
The owner called over one girl and told her to say she had to just to make him happy.
So the girl went up to the room and the old man asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
She smiled and said, 'Of course I do.'
They got into bed and begun to fuck away.
It lasted 10 minutes then she said, 'Listen Old man, I have a confession to make, I don't have Gonorrhea.'
The Old man smiled and replied, 'Now you do!'
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One old lady turns to the other and asks, 'Do you still get horny?' The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'
1 2 3 4 (5) 6 7 8 9 10 11
Categories:
Animal Bad Bar Dumb Blonde Celebrity Cheesy Chicken Christmas Chuck Norris Clean Computer Corny Dad Dark Humor Doctor Dirty Donald Trump Easter Fat For Kids Funny Riddles Funny Quotes Little Johnny Gay Gender Good Halloween Knock Knock Lawyer Lightbulb Jokes Military Old People One Liner Jokes Ponderisms Puns Redneck Relationship Religious School Short Jokes Silly Skeleton Valentines Day Yo Mama
Funny jokes
- What do you call a fat psychic
- A New Year's Resolution Is Something That Goes In
- There Are 12 Things, People Do When They Haven't
- A man walks into the front door of a bar
- A solution to all of your drinking troubles
- I Used To Drink All Brands Of Beer. Now, I
- I Was At An ATM And This Old Lady Asked
- Nostalgia Isn't What It Used To Be
- Top ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer
- Bubba didn't know what the sign in the store window meant