Dirty Jokes
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Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

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This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out.
The tramp said that he would only leave if the barman gave him a cocktail stick.
The barman, thinking this was a fair exchange, gladly gave the man a cocktail stick and watched him stagger back outside.
A minute later another old wino walked into the bar and got asked to leave by the barman.
This drunk also demanded a cocktail stick if he was to leave quietly.
There had been no trouble the first time so, once again, the barman obliged and the old drunk quietly left.
Soon after, a third wino came into the barman and without hesitation the barman offered him a cocktail stick to leave.
This time though the drunk turned him down and said he would only leave if the barman gave him a drinking straw.
Curiosity finally got the better of the barman and he asked the old drunk why he wanted a drinking straw when the other two drunks had asked for cocktail sticks.
The wino said 'Well, someone was sick outside and all the lumpy bits have gone now!'


What do you call a bunch of women hanging around prostitutes?
Support hos!


This Old man decided to go to a whore house one night.
When he arrived he went to the owner and he said, 'Listen, I want a girl with Gonorrhea!'
The owner nodded and sent him upstairs to a room.
Then she called one of her favorites for him.
The girl went into the room and started to undress for him.
He quickly asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
'Gonorrhea?
I certainly do not!'
she said.
The Old man sent her back and requested a girl with Gonorrhea.
The owner called over one girl and told her to say she had to just to make him happy.
So the girl went up to the room and the old man asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
She smiled and said, 'Of course I do.'
They got into bed and begun to fuck away.
It lasted 10 minutes then she said, 'Listen Old man, I have a confession to make, I don't have Gonorrhea.'
The Old man smiled and replied, 'Now you do!'


Your daddy is so nasty...the last time he got any butt was when his fingers accendently went threw the toilet paper


It is 10:00 at the police station and there is only 2 officers working that day...Billy-Bob and Billi-Jo.
billy-bob: hey billi-jo...can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob!:> ...now its 11:00 at the police station... billy-bob: hey billi-jo...can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob!:> ...now its midnight... and the power goes out...!
billy-bob: hey billi-jo...can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob!:> wait?!
billy-bob thats not my belly-button.
billy-bob: i know...:> and thats not my finger!:>


Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One old lady turns to the other and asks, 'Do you still get horny?' The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'


What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
'Honey, no in-between meal snacks!'


How does a blonde guy take a shower?
He pees against the wind!


Two flies were flying around a pile of poo and the first fly started sniffing around and said, 'Ew, who farted?'


One day a man walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that he wanted a 100 dollar bill tattooed on his dick.
The tattoo artist told him if he could give him three reasons why he wanted the tattoo he would give it to him.
The man says, 'Well, for one, I like to play with my money, two, I like to watch it grow, and three, if my wife wants to blow 100 dollars again, she doesn't have to go to the mall!'





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