Dirty Jokes
Home / Funny jokes / Dirty Jokes

Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

Thank You!

A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper.
There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: 'When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned.'
The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.


What do Micheal Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Both are made of plastic and both get turned on by kids!


This Old man decided to go to a whore house one night.
When he arrived he went to the owner and he said, 'Listen, I want a girl with Gonorrhea!'
The owner nodded and sent him upstairs to a room.
Then she called one of her favorites for him.
The girl went into the room and started to undress for him.
He quickly asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
'Gonorrhea?
I certainly do not!'
she said.
The Old man sent her back and requested a girl with Gonorrhea.
The owner called over one girl and told her to say she had to just to make him happy.
So the girl went up to the room and the old man asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
She smiled and said, 'Of course I do.'
They got into bed and begun to fuck away.
It lasted 10 minutes then she said, 'Listen Old man, I have a confession to make, I don't have Gonorrhea.'
The Old man smiled and replied, 'Now you do!'


Your daddy is so nasty...the last time he got any butt was when his fingers accendently went threw the toilet paper


This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out.
The tramp said that he would only leave if the barman gave him a cocktail stick.
The barman, thinking this was a fair exchange, gladly gave the man a cocktail stick and watched him stagger back outside.
A minute later another old wino walked into the bar and got asked to leave by the barman.
This drunk also demanded a cocktail stick if he was to leave quietly.
There had been no trouble the first time so, once again, the barman obliged and the old drunk quietly left.
Soon after, a third wino came into the barman and without hesitation the barman offered him a cocktail stick to leave.
This time though the drunk turned him down and said he would only leave if the barman gave him a drinking straw.
Curiosity finally got the better of the barman and he asked the old drunk why he wanted a drinking straw when the other two drunks had asked for cocktail sticks.
The wino said 'Well, someone was sick outside and all the lumpy bits have gone now!'


A man had to go to the bathroom really bad and the Men's bathroom was locked so he had to go into the Women's.
When he got there, there was three buttons.
One said 'TP'
for Toilet Paper, the second said 'HW'
for Handwashing, and the last said 'TR'
and he didn't know what it ment.
After he was finished, he pressed 'TP'
for toilet paper and 'HW'
to wash his hands.
He got curious and press the third button.
Next thing he knows, he's in the hospital in severe pain.
The third button was a Tampon Removal.


Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One old lady turns to the other and asks, 'Do you still get horny?' The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'


What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
See you next month.


What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
'Honey, no in-between meal snacks!'


Two flies were flying around a pile of poo and the first fly started sniffing around and said, 'Ew, who farted?'





1 2 3 4 (5) 6 7 8 9 10 11

Categories:
Animal Bad Bar Dumb Blonde Celebrity Cheesy Chicken Christmas Chuck Norris Clean Computer Corny Dad Dark Humor Doctor Dirty Donald Trump Easter Fat For Kids Funny Riddles Funny Quotes Little Johnny Gay Gender Good Halloween Knock Knock Lawyer Lightbulb Jokes Military Old People One Liner Jokes Ponderisms Puns Redneck Relationship Religious School Short Jokes Silly Skeleton Valentines Day Yo Mama