A lady shows up at her doctor's appointment.
The doctor calls her name and says, 'Will you please follow me?'
She is following him down the hallway when the doctor opens the first door.
There is a nurse in there giving a guy a hand job.
The doc says, 'Oh, sorry!'
and shuts the door.
He starts down the hall again when the lady says, 'Excuse me, I don't want to sound stupid, but what was that?'
The doctor replies, 'He has a backup problem and the nurse is just helping him out.'
The lady just shakes her head and follows the doctor.
The doc walks into the second door.
There is a nurse giving a man a blowjob.
The doc says, 'Oh sorry!'
and shuts the door.
He starts down the hall again and the lady says, 'Excuse me, I can kind of understand the first one - but what was that?'
The doc replies, 'Same problem, better insurance.'
A guy was riding down the road when he saw a pretty young lady standing with her thumb out.
The driver pulled over and offered her a ride.
She got in, and they started driving.
'My name is June Hanson,' she said.
'My name is Gene Snow,'
They rode on for a while in silence.
'Why do you keep sizing me up?'
she asked after a while.
'I was just wondering what it would be like to have eight inches of Snow in June.'
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One old lady turns to the other and asks, 'Do you still get horny?' The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'
What do Micheal Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Both are made of plastic and both get turned on by kids!
How does herpes leave the hospital?
What do you call a million Mexicans rolling down a hill.
A soldier was shot in the groin area and the nurse comes over and says drop your pants he says ur a girl im not going to drop my pants she says just do it im a nurse.
he says fine and drops his pants.she grabs his left testicale and says say 10 he says 10 she grabs his right testical she says say 10 he says 10 she strokes his penis she says say ten he says 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it....
he was a DWARF!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
One day, an old lady went to the store to get some food for her dog.
When she got to the counter to pay, the cashier said she needed proof that the old lady had a dog because some old people have been known to just eat the animal food themselves.
So she went home got her puppy, bought it to the store and purchased the dog food.
One week later, she went to get some cat food.
Once again the cashier needed proof that the old lady had a cat.
So she went home, got her cat, came back and purchased the cat food.
Two weeks later, the old lady walked in the same market to buy something .
She held a bag in front of the cashier and told him to put his fingers in the bag and then smell them.
When the cashier did, he said, 'It smells like poop!'
The old lady replied, 'Can I buy some toilet paper now?'
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
'Honey, no in-between meal snacks!'