Dirty Jokes
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Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

Thank You!

When do you know when a picnic turns Gay?
When the hot dogs taste like shit!


A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home.
He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief, 'This is a tree.'
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'Tree.'
The missionary is pleased with the response.
They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, 'This is a rock.'
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, 'Rock.'
The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.
As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity.
The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, 'Riding a bike.'
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them.
The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied, 'My bike.'


How do you know if Dr.
Dre has a high sperm count?
Eminem has to chew before swallowing!


Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and a dozen donuts.

Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony?
A. The girl who can eat the last donut.


What do you call nuts on a wall?
Wallnuts What do you call nuts on your chest?
Chest nuts What do you call nuts on your chin?
A penis in your mouth


The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.
'Everyone knows,'
the mother lectured him, 'that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool.'
'Oh really?' said the lifeguard, 'from the diving board!?!?'


A frat boy gets into the back of a cab, and asks the cabbie, 'Do you have enough room up there for a pizza and a six pack of beer?'
The cabbie says, 'Sure.'
So the frat boy leans forward and throws-up.


A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper.
There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: 'When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned.'
The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.


A Marine and Navy-man are in the bathroom together, and the Marine goes to leave without washing his hands.
'Hey,'
says the Navy-man, 'in the Navy they teach us to wash our hands.'
'In the Marines, they teach us not to piss on our hands.'


A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady.
A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and let loose a big noisy fart.
Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her 'Do you by any chance have today's paper?'
The lady looked at him and said, 'No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves.'





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