Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

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A lady shows up at her doctor's appointment.
The doctor calls her name and says, 'Will you please follow me?'
She is following him down the hallway when the doctor opens the first door.
There is a nurse in there giving a guy a hand job.
The doc says, 'Oh, sorry!'
and shuts the door.
He starts down the hall again when the lady says, 'Excuse me, I don't want to sound stupid, but what was that?'
The doctor replies, 'He has a backup problem and the nurse is just helping him out.'
The lady just shakes her head and follows the doctor.
The doc walks into the second door.
There is a nurse giving a man a blowjob.
The doc says, 'Oh sorry!'
and shuts the door.
He starts down the hall again and the lady says, 'Excuse me, I can kind of understand the first one - but what was that?'
The doc replies, 'Same problem, better insurance.'

Your daddy is so nasty...the last time he got any butt was when his fingers accendently went threw the toilet paper

Confucius says 'Man who goes to sleep with itchy butt....wakes up man with smelly finger!'

A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and says: 'I want a turkey on my right hip.'
So the guy says, 'Ok.'
Does it and then she leaves.
A couple of weeks later she comes back and says: 'I want Santa Clause on my left hip.'
And the man says, 'Ok.'
Does it, while she was getting her money out, he says, 'Can I ask you why you are doing this?'
And she says, 'So my husband will have something to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas!'

How does a blonde guy take a shower?
He pees against the wind!

If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone?
No?
Wanna go to a party?

What did the thirsty whale do?
Bit the tail of a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.

One day a man walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that he wanted a 100 dollar bill tattooed on his dick.
The tattoo artist told him if he could give him three reasons why he wanted the tattoo he would give it to him.
The man says, 'Well, for one, I like to play with my money, two, I like to watch it grow, and three, if my wife wants to blow 100 dollars again, she doesn't have to go to the mall!'

While setting at my computer a commercial came on about a feminine product.
The lady said if I have a feminine itch with an odor what do I do?
I said to my wife, what did she do scratch and sniff?

Ok there where 3 guys driving way out in the country they ran out of gas in front of this house in the middle of no where they went and knocked on there door a old ugly fat stinky lady came to the door they asked her do you have any gas she said yes but i will only give it to you if one of you fuck me well they went back to the car and they drew strals one guy got the shortist and brought the lady in the barn he said i will only fuck you if yoour blind folded and tied up so she got undressed and he tied her a to pole and blind folded her then he look around the barn and found corn on the cob and fucked the old lady then there the corn out the window when he went out side ,his friends laught at him and said well you where fucking the old lady we where down he eating cream corn.

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