Dirty Jokes
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Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.

Why are black people so good at basketball?
Because they can shoot, steal and run!

Johnny and Rebecca were walking down the road and when all of a sudden he sees a 20 dollar bill and tells Rebecca, 'Who's is it, mine or yours?'
So she says, 'Mine.'
Then they make a left and see a 50 dollar bill and he says to her, 'Who's it, mine or yours?'
Now they are almost at the store and there is a dick in her mouth, he says, 'Who's is it?'
Then Rebecca says, 'YOURS, YOURS, OH YOURS!'

A man walked into a market to get some cat food for his cat, the guy at the counter said 'that he cant get the cat food because he can feed it to his children.
so if he brought his cat he can buy the cat food'.
the next day the man came in with his cat.
the man let him buy the cat food.
a couple days later the same guy came in and wanted to buy dog food.
the same guy at the counter said 'he cant buy that dog food because hes going to feed it to his children.'
so the guy brings his dog and he get the dog food.
a couple days later he brings a paper bag to the market.
the same counter guy puts his hand in the bag and say 'eww... this is crap'
the guy who brought the bag said 'yah i kno i wanted to buy toilet paper'

A frat boy gets into the back of a cab, and asks the cabbie, 'Do you have enough room up there for a pizza and a six pack of beer?'
The cabbie says, 'Sure.'
So the frat boy leans forward and throws-up.

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home.
He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief, 'This is a tree.'
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'Tree.'
The missionary is pleased with the response.
They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, 'This is a rock.'
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, 'Rock.'
The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.
As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity.
The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, 'Riding a bike.'
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them.
The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied, 'My bike.'

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes:  'USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!'
She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: 'USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!'
The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him:  'I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!

A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper.
There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: 'When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned.'
The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.

What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?
Line dancing at the nursing home.

What do a walrus and tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal!

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