This Old man decided to go to a whore house one night.
When he arrived he went to the owner and he said, "Listen, I want a girl with Gonorrhea!"
The owner nodded and sent him upstairs to a room.
Then she called one of her favorites for him.
The girl went into the room and started to undress for him.
He quickly asked, "Do you have Gonorrhea?"
I certainly do not!"
The Old man sent her back and requested a girl with Gonorrhea.
The owner called over one girl and told her to say she had to just to make him happy.
So the girl went up to the room and the old man asked, "Do you have Gonorrhea?"
She smiled and said, "Of course I do."
They got into bed and begun to fuck away.
It lasted 10 minutes then she said, "Listen Old man, I have a confession to make, I don't have Gonorrhea."
The Old man smiled and replied, "Now you do!"
Their was this kid that always got picked on at school.
Everyday his friends and kids that went to school always said to him, "F**k you."
Well the dumb kid always was curious about what the word f**k means.
One day he got real sad and wanted to know what it meant, so he ran home and rushed in the house screaming out for his father.
He yelled, "Pah!"
And then his pa came out and asked, "What hell you want boy?"
The boy said, "Pah, what does f**k mean?"
And then his pah said, "Son I think it's time you knew what f**k mean."
Pah then yelled out, "Mah, get down here, son wants to know what f**k mean."
Mah comes down stairs, pah says, "Mah take off your clothes and get in your position."
He turns to his son and says, "Son you see that pink spot on mah?
Uh huh watch your pah go to work!"
Then the boys sister came in the door and says, "What are they doing?"
The boy turns his head and with a smile he says, "They fuckin."
Sister says, "What does f**k mean?"
"WELL YOU SEE THAT BROWN SPOT ON PAH uh huh WATCH YOUR BROTHER GO TO WORK!"
Father:son how do u control ur anger when i have beaten u.
son:i brush the toilet with ur teeth brush.
Two statues are in a perk for over thirty years and all day long they just look at each others naked bodies.
One day an angel comes down and grants them life for 30 minutes.
The two statues look at each other and the woman statue says "should we"
the man replies "Yes".
They then both run off in to the bushes where there is a lot of giggling going on.
The angel gives a cheeky smile as she knows what they are up to.
After fifteen minutes the statues return with a cheeky smile on their faces.
The angel says to them "You still have fifteen minutes left"
So the man says to the woman "want to do it again?"
the woman replies "Yes, But this time you hold the birds head while i shit on it."
An old Indian Chief sat in his hut on the reservations, smoking a Ceremonial Pipe and eyeing two U.S.
Government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles"
asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years.
You've seen his wars and his technological advances.
You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The Official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the Government Officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found this land, Indians were running it.
Women did all the work.
Medicine man free.
Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing.
All night having sex."
Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?"
The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours."
So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?"
The next day they went to the mother one at a time.
The mother said tot he first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?"
and the nun said "I stole a kid's bike."
The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water."
When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.
The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?"
The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!"
The mother said, "Well, that's sinning.
Go drink holy water."
The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?"
The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!"
These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.
The first guy said, "Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks."
The second guy said, "Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI."
The third guy says, "Man that was nothing.
I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed."
Then the first guy said, "No -- you guys don't understand!
Chunks is my dog!"
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically.
The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms.
Maybe it's a good thing.
The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly.
This piques the interest of the pharmacist.
What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?
So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes."
Sure enough, the next day the man is back.
He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves.
The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the guy.
About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
"Did you follow him?
Where did he go?"
asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies, "Your house!"
A trucker was driving down the road when he saw two men standing there trying to hitch a ride.
They looked okay and the trucker was an reasonable guy, so he picked them up.
Later on down the road they started talking and the trucker could tell that these two men were gay.
The gay guy on the the right lets loose with a large, silent fart.
A few minutes later, the other gay guy farted to, which was also silent.
About four minutes later, the trucker farted himself, loudly.
The gay men started laughing and calling the trucker a virgin.
Three men were in a sauna.
An Italian, a German, and a Pollack.
Suddenly, they heard a beeping noise.
The Italian guy pushed a few buttons on his hand and then told the others that he had a chip installed in his hand to allow him to be paged.
Then, they heard a ring and the German man pushed a button on his hand and put his hand up to his ear and carried a conversation.
After pressing another button on his hand the German man said that he had a chip installed in his hand to allow him to receive calls.
The Polish man excuses himself to use the bathroom.
He comes back, with a piece of toilet paper trailing from his butt.
The other men laugh and point.
The Polish man cranes his neck around to look.
He says, "Wow!
I must have gotten a fax!"