Dirty Jokes
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Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

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A Girl gets two tattoos on her inner thighs: one of Mike Tyson on her right inner thigh and the other is of Evander Holifield on her left inner thigh.
She points to them and asks the bartender 'Does this look like Mike Tyson?'
Bartender says 'No.'
She then asks 'Does this look like Evander Holifield?'
Bartender says 'Nope sorry.'
She's says 'Well I want another opinion.'
She sees a drunk guy at the end of the bar.
She points to her inner right thigh and asks him 'Does this tattoo look like Mike Tyson?'
Drunk guy says 'No.'
She points to her inner left thigh and asks 'Well does this tattoo look like Evander Holifield?'
Drunk guy says 'No but the one in the middle looks like Don King.'


In Washington D.C.
they ran out Tickle Me Elmo dolls.
So now they have Fondle Me Packwood dolls!


A grown man decided one day to go to a nude beach for a full body tan.
While he was laying on the sand a little girl full dressed asked, 'What is that?'
Pointing directly at his penis.
He replied, 'That is my little birdie.'
And she responded politely, 'May I play with your little birdie?'
'No,'
he replied with a chuckle.
Then the little girl wandered off, as he began to fall asleep.
A few hours later he woke up in a Hospital.
'Why am I here here, what happened?'
he asked curiously.
Then he noticed the little girl was standing next to him and she simply replied: 'I got bored so I came back and played with your little birdie, but then it spat at me so I broke your birdies neck, cracked its eggs, and burned its nest.'


Father:son how do u control ur anger when i have beaten u.
son:i brush the toilet with ur teeth brush.


Why does Santa have huge balls?
Because he only comes once a year!


Why do the Welsh shag sheep on cliff edges?
So the sheep push back harder!


A man walked into a market to get some cat food for his cat, the guy at the counter said 'that he cant get the cat food because he can feed it to his children.
so if he brought his cat he can buy the cat food'.
the next day the man came in with his cat.
the man let him buy the cat food.
a couple days later the same guy came in and wanted to buy dog food.
the same guy at the counter said 'he cant buy that dog food because hes going to feed it to his children.'
so the guy brings his dog and he get the dog food.
a couple days later he brings a paper bag to the market.
the same counter guy puts his hand in the bag and say 'eww... this is crap'
the guy who brought the bag said 'yah i kno i wanted to buy toilet paper'


What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
Pizzeria!


A guy was riding down the road when he saw a pretty young lady standing with her thumb out.
The driver pulled over and offered her a ride.
She got in, and they started driving.
'My name is June Hanson,' she said.
'My name is Gene Snow,'
he replied.
They rode on for a while in silence.
'Why do you keep sizing me up?'
she asked after a while.
'I was just wondering what it would be like to have eight inches of Snow in June.'


The other day, my friends and I went to this Ladies Night Club.
One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.
The dancer came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and stuck it on his butt.
Not to be outdone, my other friend pulled  out a $50 bill.
She called the guy back over, licked the $50 bill and stuck it on his other butt cheek.
Now the attention was focused on me.
What could I do to top that?
I got out my wallet and thought for a minute.
Then the  banker in me took over.
I got my ATM card, swiped it down his crack, grabbed the 60 bucks and went home!





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