'No, no, no!' said the penguin, 'I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder!'
'Surprise!
Surprise!
That's not my ear canal either!'
Oh no!
The leak is coming from the Global Positioning Satellite System again!
'Mommy Mommy,'
Little Johnny replied, 'is that why the soufflé is burnt?'
'Tokyo?'
Said the nun, 'You fool, I said take the hoe!'
And then my dad farted and it smelled and I said to my father you farted and it smelled.
And slowly, the sheep turned to each other and glared silently.
'Whew!' said the blonde, 'I thought you meant the vacuum-insulated sealable container with the heat reflective inner surface!'
'No wait, you don't understand,' said the fat man, 'Pop Tarts are a substitute for my mother's love!'
As they opened the door they realized they were terribly mistaken.
The dog was only taking a nap.
'Yeah,' said the Scottsman, 'but at least I don't have a scented hand soap named after ME!'
As she spoke he whirled the egg beater around and yelled 'EGG BEATER!'
'Isotope?'
He replied, 'That's no isotope!'
Next Joke: The water-proof towel